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Original poster

No offers from chosen schools. DD in pieces. Please help!

52 replies

MayorMumbum · 01/03/2019 08:56

In a bit of a panic! DD has not been offered a place at any of the schools we put down. Instead she has been offered a place at one of the worst schools in the country.
She has anxiety and trichotillomania and was desperate to stay with her two best friends (both got in to her chosen school except her). She is in pieces, I'm in shock and don't know what to do.
I'm going to try to appeal but I don't know what her chances are and I'm prepared to home school her rather than accept the place we have been offered.
I'm just after some advice really. Best way to get her a chance of getting in, things to bring up at appeal, next steps etc.
I can't bloody believe it! We went to six open evenings, spent hours looking at schools etc only for no place at a single decent school. Argh!

OP posts:

ineedaknittedhat · 01/03/2019 11:10

Don't give up hope of getting her in to a suitable school, but online schooling can be an option. We had to withdraw our ds2 from the school system due to bullying and he goes to an online school and is doing fine. It's not that expensive either.

Original poster

MayorMumbum · 01/03/2019 11:26

I definitely won't give up. I really don't think she will be happy at this school and it isn't the right fit for her which is why I didn't put it down. It feels so unfair :( I'd be happy accept a place literally anywhere else.

OP posts:

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 01/03/2019 11:37

I'm also going to make an appointment at the offered school to have one more look and discuss my concerns
This is a very good idea. I understand you will have made your decision based on its reputation but the reality may be different. Or it might just confirm your current view. Either way, you will be in a better position to make decisions on how to proceed.

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General education

Enko · 01/03/2019 11:43

ok go to secondary school board and read there lots of appeals info. They helped me a lot when ds didn't get his 1st preference.

0.1 miles should mean a fair chance of her being high up on waiting list so may be she will get into the school soon

Quartz2208 · 01/03/2019 11:47

Yes take a deep breath there is 6 months before she starts and a lot of movement to be done

As an example the really good school near us catchment on offer day (today) and when they start is around a mile different - you are certainly close enough

You need to play the waiting list game and you should get her in.

ShadyLady53 · 01/03/2019 11:48

Locally, mental health illnesses and inclusion issues are very good grounds for appeal if you look at how the school you are appealing to can meet your child’s needs with her anxiety and trichotillomania.

Holidayshopping · 01/03/2019 11:51

Which county are you?

Were the two friends who got their places in catchment for the school you wanted?

SoupDragon · 01/03/2019 11:53

I'm glad to see you are accepting the place.

Waiting lists do move as there may well be children with a place who will be taking up a place at an independent school instead.

Ciwirocks · 01/03/2019 11:56

Op, please don’t let your daughter pick up on any negativity about the school she has been allocated. Continue to appeal but don’t totally discount the allocated school and keep positive in case she does end up going there. A friend of mine was in an almost identical situation a few years ago, she lost her appeal and her ds went to the original allocated school. He is actually thriving there and very happy.

PanelChair · 01/03/2019 11:56

Unfortunately, we don’t know for sure that OP is “certainly close enough”. Some secondary schools in densely-populated areas fill all their places from within a very short distance and, even once places are offered from the waiting list, the distance doesn’t increase very much. Similarly, very popular schools might not have much movement on the waiting list because few people give up places there.

I don’t want to be pessimistic but it would be wrong to give false assurances and OP needs to look at all the options.

Original poster

MayorMumbum · 01/03/2019 12:38

They took children from 1.5 miles away, we are 1.6 miles away

OP posts:

Original poster

MayorMumbum · 01/03/2019 12:46

I'm not being negative in front of DD but unfortunately the reputation of this school is very well known and she's heard things from friends etc, the open evening didn't instill much confidence either.
I'm trying to be positive and keep options open but if no spot opens at a school better suited for her I think home school will be the only option for a while short of moving.
It may prove beneficial to have her at home for a while anyway to get on top of her anxiety and trich. Who knows.
Thanks for the replies everyone. I've very few people to talk through this with so you have been a real lifeline today

OP posts:

Penguinandbear · 01/03/2019 13:20

The BBC has published this advice and it says ACE can help with advice on appeals:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-43783681

I have found some LA Admissions staff very helpful in the past too though obviously no guarantees and you need a plan B until the school you want is confirmed or not. Do remember though some people will be on lots of waiting lists so position can sound worse than it is. I would research as much you can - maybe try MN local board too. Hope you get the school you want.

paniarania · 01/03/2019 13:38

I know just how you feel. The exact same thing happened to me last year. I ended up contacting my local MP and all sorts. One option I didn't know about, which I wish I had, was that there is specialist legal advice and support you can get in preparing your appeal. If you'd like to know more, please feel free to DM me.
Best of luck, these things do usually work out in the end.

Original poster

MayorMumbum · 01/03/2019 14:02

After everything I've read it seems we have weak grounds for appeal :( both schools offer help with emotional support and they don't seem to take in to account social factors very often if ever. I'll still go for it but I'm not hopeful. Might be though we get in just through the waiting list.

OP posts:

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 01/03/2019 14:26

Roughly where in the country are you?

Original poster

MayorMumbum · 01/03/2019 14:31

A few miles outside Birmingham Judas.

OP posts:

PanelChair · 01/03/2019 14:36

Don’t lose heart. One half of the appeal centres on the school’s case for not taking your daughter and, if that turns out to be weak, it makes it easier for you to win.

Friendship issues are generally weak grounds for arguing an appeal, but I think you have an arguable case here because of your daughter’s anxiety and trichotillomania. You need to get a strong, unequivocal letter of support from her doctor. You can supplement that with anything else that the school offers which would benefit your daughter. I can’t be certain that you’ll win, but give it your best shot.

Burlea · 01/03/2019 14:41

My DGDs friend was given a place at the same school as her even though she hadn't given that school in her options. I hope you are allowed to appeal.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 01/03/2019 15:11

Oh ok, only asked as I know someone who has been v good at helping with appeals but you’re a long way from us unfortunately. Anyway, I realise different areas of the country will be different but from my own experience I’d say don’t worry too much that you personally think you’re case might be ‘weak’, you never know what the appeal panel might think. I don’t want to give too much personal info but in the appeal for my DD we thought we should make our case about a particular issue that we thought was very strong, there was one thing that we didn’t think was important to include, but, DDs primary school Head wrote a supportive letter for us and he happened to mention this thing in passing. I don’t think he thought it would be instrumental but turns out that was the thing the panel picked up on and placed far greater importance on than we had. Sorry to be cryptic! But my point is, you never know, and there’s no harm in appealing.

Octofraughts · 01/03/2019 16:14

Can I just add also: my DS is going to a local independent school and we have an offer and completed on paperwork. I also applied to the council do our local state school in case he wasn't offered a space at the independent. There wasn't an option or space to write in our postion of showing we had applied to an independt school. So I've had an offer of a state space this morning which we won't be taking. I would think it HIGHLY likely that all the other parents in my DS year did the same. That's at least 150 people!!!

Original poster

MayorMumbum · 08/03/2019 09:18

Hi Everyone. Bit of an update to this thread. I've found out this morning that she is 13th on the waiting list for the school she wants. Having trouble figuring out whether that's good or bad. Opinions would be very welcome!

OP posts:

Hollowvictory · 08/03/2019 09:22

Well it's good if 12 people relinquish their place and nobody enters the waiting list at a higher position than you. Is it likely that some people will take private school offers, is there high mobility? Did they admit anybody from wait list last year?

Original poster

MayorMumbum · 08/03/2019 09:23

Not many private schools and no idea about the other two questions to be honest. I know five got in through appeal.

OP posts:

Original poster

MayorMumbum · 08/03/2019 09:28

13 is better than I was hoping. She's 63rd on her second choice .

OP posts:

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