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Original poster

Would you speak to the school?

17 replies

MissMudskipper · 28/02/2019 14:24

Apologies first of all - long story so as not to drip feed! My 2 daughters (one in year 4 other in school nursery) attend the same school. Myself and eldest drop the youngest in nursery then walk round and off my eldest goes.

There is a mum that i know (her 2 daughters are both the same age as mine) who drives her kids close to the school then has the 8 year old walk the 3 year old into school. Recently the 3 year old fell on their walk and ended up covered in mud which went all over her face, clothes etc. - poor thing was beside herself. The 8 year old however was pulling her along shouting at her to stop crying they were going to be late. As the grown up I had to take some control - they both know me - so i offered to help to take some pressure off the 8 year old and we all walked to nursery together where i handed over the still crying 3 year old to teachers to clean up.

Then this morning the 8 year old was shouting at her younger sister again who was in tears. My eldest asked the 8 year old what was wrong and was told the 3 year old needed to learn consequences (!!) and the youngest needed to behave and hurry up. One of the parents said to the eldest shes only little shes got time yet to learn. Hence the eldest stormed off leaving the 3 year old crying even more. The teachers saw all this and managed to speak to the eldest before she left the classroom. These are just a few occassions where I've seen the eldest struggle. My concern is for both of the kids here but I'm torn and dont want to seem like I'm interfering

I know its only a short walk into school but the 8 year old clearly doesnt seem to be coping well. Where they get dropped off the mum is unable to see them go into school which concerns me slightly.

Am i just interferring or would you say something to the mum or the school? WWYD?

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 28/02/2019 14:26

The teachers have seen
They can raise it as safeguarding
You don't need to since they have seen it themselves but you could report what you have witnessed which the teachers have not seen

glamorousgrandmother · 28/02/2019 14:28

The nursery staff will be aware of the 3 year old being brought in by an 8 year old and will, most likely, have referred it on. It wouldn't hurt to mention what you have seen though as it will add to the total picture.

Original poster

MissMudskipper · 28/02/2019 14:34

Thank you for your advice. I needed some reassurance that I wasnt just sticking my nose in

OP posts:

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TokyoSushi · 28/02/2019 14:37

I would speak to them, it doesn't sound right and I'm sure that they've already seen that. I'm not sure what they can do but by you raising it, it will add weight to the argument that something needs to be done. Is there any reason that the mum can't get out of the car?

stressedbeyond123 · 28/02/2019 14:44

i would definitely speak to the school. they seem to be aware of "an" issue, but may not be aware of the things you have witnessed.

My DD is 8 and there is no way i would let her go into school by herself, let alone take a younger child as well

Original poster

MissMudskipper · 28/02/2019 14:45

No reason for her not to get out TokyoSushi. She use to always walk the eldest into school and I know its not a case of her having to rush off to work.

OP posts:

stressedbeyond123 · 28/02/2019 14:45

When i say go into school by herself, i walk her to the gate and i watch her go in through the gate and wait until she is completely in the yard!

Hollowvictory · 28/02/2019 14:47

School already know.

Original poster

MissMudskipper · 28/02/2019 14:47

Thats my thinking as well stressedbeyond123 so I couldn't decide if I was also maybe being slightly judgemental!

OP posts:

Cuppaand2biscuits · 28/02/2019 14:52

I wouldn't say anything for now, it sounds like the teachers are aware so I'm sure they'll raise any concerns.
Keep your eye on it and if nothing changes then speak to the school.

cestlavielife · 28/02/2019 14:57

And explain why you are walking them.in...they may thin k you have an arrangement with the mum to do.this.
If you don't then stop. Leave children and Go call a teacher instead.

Original poster

MissMudskipper · 28/02/2019 15:02

Thats a good point cestlavielife I'd not even thought about it that way.

OP posts:

MumUnderTheMoon · 28/02/2019 15:32

I think more people should "interfere" when they see harm being done to children.

cestlavielife · 28/02/2019 15:49

Yep..you going to teacher and saying there is an abandoned child childrrn out there will make them notice..if they haven't already.... . if you dutifully escort them.in then it won't look as if there is an issue

cestlavielife · 28/02/2019 15:49

Maybe the mum tells school oh missmudskipper takes them in for me !

lorisparkle · 28/02/2019 15:54

I personally would raise your concern to the safeguarding lead in each placement. It is then their decision whether to act on it but I personally would not feel happy to presume whoever from the settings witnessed it had reported it to the safeguarding lead. I was concerned about an older child taking a younger child to school and mentioned it to the headteacher. She thanked me and said she would look into it. A few days later it had been sorted. No one was aware I had ever raised a concern but my mind was put at ease. I later found out from a next door neighbour that it was part of a much bigger picture.

FairyFuckDailyMail · 28/02/2019 16:46

Wow 8 is way too young to take on that responsibility. My DD2 is almost 8 and she is my youngest. DD1 is 11 in Year 6 and walks to school on her own. They have asked time and again if DD1 can walk DD2 to school and I personally would never put that responsibility on my 11 year old DD. My girls are great together but I also know it takes a little encouragement from someone for DD2 to test the boundaries and then its up to my DD1 to deal with that. But I am surprised that school/nursery has allowed that a young child accompanies an even younger child to the nursery. Definitely a safe guarding issue.

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