Single mums how do you cope?

[Dreamzcancometrue]

Im asking this, because im 39 weeks pregnant with my first DC. Will have support for the first 2 months as I'm staying at my mums but once I move back into my flat with my newborn I keep thinking how am I going to handle the situation if I want to bath and baby is awake. Or I want to go to the toilet whilst baby is awake. Its impossible to keep your eyes on them 24.7 and if I need a nap who will keep an eye on her as I wont always be visiting my mothers for that extra support. Im worried im going to be a crap mum. It doesnt help that I have suffered from anxiety and depression in the past.

Any tips/stories/positive love. Welcome!!

Not a single mum, but get a bouncy chair or a swing chair suitable from birth and take them with you into the bathroom. Or if you just need the loo then put them down on the floor on a suitable mat, and be quick.

If you can get her to sleep then nap when she naps. This can be very frustrating if they won't nap on their own... but you can learn to breastfeed lying down and nap next to them, if you have a sidecar cot and follow safer co-sleeping guidelines. Better to plan to co sleep than to fall asleep and do it accidentally.

You won't be a crap mum.

Also, maybe worth speaking to your midwife/HV to see if there is any extra support available. There's a charity called Home-Start I think, which might be relevant.

Can you not stay with your mum longer?

justagirl

I can't because she needs the room, to rent to students - she's having money problens and I can't afford to pay for my flat and a double room at my mums.

I'm a single mum and have been since DS was born nearly nine months ago.

You nap when the baby naps - I passed out exhausted often enough in the early days. Otherwise, unfortunately you're awake with baby. It'll be tiring but it is what it is. Can your mum watch the baby for a few hours once a week just to get some solid uninterrupted sleep?

DS doesn't craw yet (was a preemie) so if I need to shower he was either on his mat when he couldn't roll, or strapped into his swing. Now that he crawls he's in his playpen with toys or in his cot. It depends on the kind of baby you have - mine is fine to be put down for a short while but I usually shower when he's napping or gone to bed, but sometimes I do while awake. If you have one that won't be put down you'll probably have to wait or drag a mat into the room you are for baby to lay on (one of those play mats is helpful, I have one for the bathroom while I get ready and it goes to the kitchen as well).

Thanks for all your replies! I definitely need to invest in a baby bouncer, I think I will get one once I move back to my flat...( I live about 30-40 mins away by bus)
I'm tinking my mums house also will need a baby bouncer because that is where I will visit a lot and spend time. Especially while DC is still young.

You might find a sling handy as well, useful to be able to have them on you but have hands free as well.

I used a play pen and a sling. And you learn to sleep when they sleep.
I have no family help and the only time it was an issue, I had bad flu and ds was a toddler who could climb.
I barricaded us both in my bedroom, with cushions and a heap of toys, removed anything dangerous ( neurofen, tweezers etc) and dozed between nappy changes and meals.
You’ll cope. Honestly, if you are by yourself you’ll get into a routine easily.

Jumperoo! They are bloody amazing from about 4-6 months onwards. Thanks to hers, my DD has such strength in her legs that she was walking before she was 1!

I'm a single Mum and honestly, the hardest part is the loneliness. So surround yourself with friends & family, get into a routine and you'll be absolutely fine! X

I dont really have any close friends tbh. My family will be my biggest support though.

Not that it helps on an individual advice level, but you’ll cope because you have to. You’ll be a lot tougher than you think you are, we’re made of pretty strong stuff when it comes to it.

Can only really reiterate the advice above regarding sleeping/toileting etc.
Just take a day at a time, if something you planned doesn’t get done don’t worry about it, most things will wait whilst you focus on yourself and your baby.

Have you decided how you want to feed baby yet? There isn’t a right or a wrong, but getting set up so you can do one as easily as possible helps. Having things like BF pillows, and nipple cream in advance, or plenty of bottles so you can wash just a little less frequently etc.

Batch cook a bit before labour, get yourself a few meals in the freezer for the days you feel completely knackered after you’ve had baby.

How’re you finances? Have you had chance to sit down and make everything balance, it’s easy to put this off as it’s scary to look at sometimes, but it’ll help with anxieties in the long run.

Is dad on the scene at all? Will he have baby occasionally?

Put baby in a bouncy chair in bathroom . I would leave them for a min while going to the toilet. As long as they are somewhere safe it’s fine .
I was a single mum when I had my second and I learnt sometimes you just have to leave them a min while you finish cooking or whatever you are doing . They will be fine . You need to make sure you eat , drink and look after yourself .