I’m in a quandary about what to do.
I have an ex-friend who has ghosted me since I became pregnant with my DS 18 months ago. She was a fairly good friend before that. We weren’t very close but our DD are/were best friends at school and had play dates together.
In March 2017, I had an ectopic pregnancy and surgery. She was a bit funny with me then, and although she was fairly sympathetic after my loss, I didn’t feel like she had been there as much as I would have been for her. She then went onto become pregnant a month later, only to lose her baby at 14 weeks in a late miscarriage. Ever since then, she decided to completely ghost/blank me, not reciprocating any messages or my card when I tried to see her after her loss. I am mutual friends with some of her other friends and none of them seem to know why she doesn’t like me or want anything to do with me any more.
She is now nearly 8 weeks pregnant and I have had time to think about how she has treated me over the past 18 months. I’m sure it was a very devastating and awful time for her, and i completely understand why she may have found it hurtful to see me being pregnant and having my baby. On a purely selfish level, I’m slightly upset that she felt the need to cross the road when she saw me being pregnant, but I feel it was obviously a reflection of how and felt trying to deal with her loss etc.
I’m at a quandary now, and wonder if I should eventually offer her an olive branch to say congratulations about her baby (when she officially announces it), and whether we can try to be friends again for the sake of our DDs. It would also be nice to have something in common with our new babies and to meet up properly because of them.
I’m not sure whether I should just let bygones be bygones, and let her carry on with everything and forget trying to be friends again, or if it would be better to try and be civil /mature and be the bigger person by trying to be friends again. My DH says it is a shame that our DD has missed out on her friendship but he has decided to forget about her after the way she has treated me. I’m a bit of a softer person and try to please everyone. I don’t like the idea that I have done something wrong, and I want to offer her an olive branch and see what happens. Would that be mad?