DS is really scared of wasps, how to help him? when its my fault :(

[staydazzling]

I have always been absolutely terrified of wasps, definitely phobia territory ,as long as I can remember. hysterical im not exaggerating, if they come inthe house,near me etc. my youngest seems unfazed but my eldest is definitely behaving in a very similar manner, I'm scared one day he may do something like run into the road to get away etc, I was trying to rationalise with him yesterday I.e more ppl are killed by dogs and cars yet you don't run in terror from them but he rightly pointed out, its a bit rich coming from me. There was no one who helped me, but how can I help him??? any suggestions greatly appreciated xxc

TBH it sounds as though you need help to lessen your reaction.
If you are hysterical around them, you can't really be telling your DS that there is nothing to be scared of and to calm down.

I know would CBT be of any benefit? Or is it not suited?

Have you sought help for your phobia?

If no then obviously you need to.

If 'Yes but it didn't help', then you need to seek help that will.

How does your child even know that wasps can actually kill a very tiny minority of people?

Get some help for your own reaction, so that you can calmly show your DS that there is nothing to be afraid of.

Some kind of exposure or hypnotherapy might work. I have a friend was was blind terrified of spiders who recently had the latter. At the end of the treatment, she got a picture of herself holding a tarantula! No way would I ever have believed she could do that. So proud of her (and a bit in awe).

he doesn't it was just my hap hazard way inthe moment of trying to calm him down.

no I've never had any help, is hynotherapy more suited to phobias??

But he's justified in running away from the horrors. They are bloody awful and follow me about. Both my boys got stung by them last year while sitting quietly on the lawn.

They are bloody horrible!!!!

They can only sting. I presume that you don't get hysterical when you need to have blood taken from you at the hospital? Because that takes longer. I agree that the best way forward is to get help for your own reaction.

He's justified in being wary/moving away from them but panicking and running away, can be very dangerous. As the OP has pointed out, her DC could run into a road or anything.

You are more likely to get stung waving your hands around and running about, than calmly ignoring them.

@grinningcheshirecat - they can only sting...unless you're allergic to them in which case they ca kill you!

can, not ca

Has he ever had a wasp sting?

I’d also try to avoid trying to ’out negative’ with a child who comes from a fearful disposition. You don’t want to create a phobia of dogs etc, just to learn to have a healthy reSpect for dangers.

Somehow you need to teach him that just moving slowly away is the best course of action. Tell him they react to loud noises and sudden movement so screaming and waving hands around is counter productive.
Can you watch videos of wasps? Sit in the garden near some plants and watch them from a distance (more likely to be bees but should still work)?

Yes honestly I'm afraid he's not likely to respond while you are reacting hysterically

I would do some research and even request some support from any mental health services (although they are very stretched )

@Andro

How is that helping the OP?

so the consensus is pretty much i need to get sorted myself, any tips on keeping himself calm in the meantime??

No, hes never been stung, I have probably where it stems from.

I had aversion therapy for my wasp phobia. It didn't "cure" it but it helps enormously. I have strategies.

Its always more difficult at the start of "The season" but gets more manageable as summer progresses. The more I manage the issue, the better I am at it.

If you did some, it would help you and you could share strategies with him.

My biggest concern is passing on my phobia to my dd; the motivation helps.

A very kind poster years ago sent me some information about wasp behaviour, without pictures, that helped me a little, I don't understand wasps and how to not antagonise them or what attracts them, they just seem very random to me and I find that frightening.

No I don't run away from blood tests but I have been known to avoid medical treatment because it might involve a needle. But a blood test where you know exactly when and where it's going to happen is very different - if a nurse started running at me with a needle with no warning then yes I absolutely would run away!

I'm not scared of being killed by a wasp, I'm scared of being stung. I have been stung in the past so it's not as though I am blowing the idea of a sting into something out of proportion. I know what it's like and while it probably isn't the worst pain I've ever experienced, I know I don't like it.

My eldest was like this from a very young age, and is still the same at 18. Any insect that flies makes her recoil in horror.
She doesn't know why she hates them so much 🤷🏻‍♀️

I just used to avoid bin areas in the summer, and remove any that entered the house quickly, before she became hysterical.

I hate them too, but you absolutely have to try not to react negatively.

@grinningcheshirecat - incorrect information is at best unhelpful and at worst dangerous.

But OP hasn't mentioned any allergies. You don't develop a fatal allergy for wasps with the first sting.