Would you move schools - desperately unhappy but Y5

[TheLuckyMrsPine]

Dd age 9 is in year 5 at a prep school. She started there at beginning of Y4. I moved her as her older sister got in to the upper school and it was amazing.

Unfortunately shortly after moving her there it became apparent there were issues in the prep school. There is a culture of low level bullying from staff and children. Her self esteem has nosedived. She has no self belief and no longer takes part in anything.

I have given up talking to staff. She never experienced these issue she before. Her old school is full. She has not settled and doesn’t seem to like many people.

She has developed anxiety related stomach aches that we now have a paediatrician treating her for. He is adamant it is because of school.

Would you move a year 5 child, or try and hang it out as she will definitely be leaving at the end of year 6? I keep thinking it’s not long and may be better the devil you know...

I'm sorry to hear about this and hope you are able to help her. I'd discuss it with her - chat about what the other options are etc. Then if you jointly decide to stick it out for another year, she may be able to cope better as she has been involved in the decision making.

I'd move her ASAP. Its an awfully long time to the end of Yr6 if its making her ill

If she wants to leave I'd let her leave- I wouldn't want my child to stay in an environment that's making her so unhappy.

Yes, move her. Being that miserable is no way to be for a 9 yo.

Does she want to move? End of Year 6 is awhile away when unhappy.

I would look to move her to another junior school now. Ideally I would move to one where the majority of pupils move to the same secondary school. At least then she would be more settled.

A year and a half is a huge proportion of her life so far. Do t condemn her to misery for all that time. The longer she is u happy the greater the ch ace it will affect her long term. I would get her out of their immediately even if it meant home schooling.

I have talked to her and told her I am happy to look at other schools. She would have to move to the state system (which is not an issue for me) but this may actually suit her better.

She swings between sticking it out as doesn’t like change, to wanting to leave as it is making her unhappy.
I feel like this is my fault for moving her in the first place, I don’t want to make things worse for her. I also worry will she fit in with relationships that have been made, year 5 may be too late

yes.

I know 2 children in year 5 who have moved this year, both due to being unhappy at school, both settled into new school amazingly and it was a brilliant move.

if you think her old school would be the best place, ask to speak to the head. There is some flexibility at this age, and they know her and who they are getting. She may agree to go to 31 in the class for your dd.

Dd had a similar experience in prep school in y5 but was able to leave y6 anyway. Her form tutor was quick to brush it under the carpet although we did have some success with a sympathetic senior teacher who juggled the classes round for y6 which gave some respite. Girls of that age can be horrid and snide. Be careful in case she is simply easy prey as the newcomer in another school. If you move her now be clear that she won't be going to that senior school and have good alternatives to suit her better.

Take her out and try and home educate (not hard as there’s plenty of curriculum out there) until a place in her old school comes up, or they all move on to the secondary school and get her in with her old friends.

Op how awful for you, but you couldn’t have known dd would be so unhappy.
I would move her ASAP too, esp now she is developing what appears to be anxiety.
She may be fearful to move, so not enthusiastic about it, but I would get behind the idea with positivity.

Call the head of your old school and explain the situation, they may make an exception. They may be aware of other children planning to leave in the future too.

You have a long way to go to get to the end of year six, and by the end your dd could be much worse than she is now.

Institutional bullying is impossible to fix without a total overhaul, I would leave. Good luck.

I would also second that year five and six are tricky years for girls.