12yo DS2......is it hormones or something more serious?

[BaconAndAvocado]

Have posted this in Preteens too. Have had to rephrase as I don't know to cut and paste.

DS2 started in Year 7 last September. He's had issues with a boy picking on him but the school dealt with this swiftly and, as far as we know, it's stopped.

In Year 6 he was a popular boy and now his main friends are at different schools so he says he has no friends at school. He has made a new friend who seems great but he's always saying that he's not popular.

He's an intelligent child and isn't struggling academically but says that the lessons are boring, he hates the school, he wants to leave to go to his friends' school.

It's just almost impossible to make him happy at the moment.

I do talk with him and when he was being picked on he always communicated everything with me.

I just want my old happy, cheerful boy back!

Is this the beginning of teenage hormone hell, all part of the transition to secondary or should we worried re mental health issues?

Tia

I think it's really tough to transition from primary to secondary for some kids.

My son had a lovely circle of friends at primary who all went to different secondary schools and he found secondary to be quite overwhelming in terms of sussing out who was the kind of child he wanted to make friends with. He's in year 9 now and has made friends, but not loads.

Things that helped were:
Explaining that 'finding your tribe' (eugh, but he understood it!) can take years!
Finding out he name of the one boy he seemed friendly with and making contact with their parents and encouraging them to do stuff together out of school.
He joined a new sports team out of school and has made friends there.

Also, letting him 'be' at home-sometimes we don't insist on homework and stuff, we just let him veg out.

And the hormones are immense-we've noticed the need for sleep changing, the quick to temper, the quick to tears, and other stuff that I'm sure is hormonal.

Does any of that help? Just realised I've rambled quite a bit!

Donpablo that is a mahoosive help! Thank you

Everything you said rings true!

I think he wants to part of the "Popular Elite" (how he perceives them in his head!) and he isn't.

We've talked to him about it and how, like you said, things take time. I also told him that most people didn't have a whale of a time at secondary school, myself included.

We also talked about how his extreme moods affect the people around him.........

DH looked on his phone earlier and found that a (nice) boy had contacted from his school to say Hello but he hadn't replied.

There are lots of really good kids at his school from primary who I know would spend time with him.....he just seems to,be lacking in confidence re approaching them.