I can’t sleep without toddler in my bed

[PurplePepperEater]

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this as our 3 year old has been the worst sleeper since birth (honestly he’s my third child and I’ve never known anything like him!) and I’ve been utterly desperate for him to start sleeping and to be sleeping in his own bed for so so long, but now we’ve finally got to a stage where I can put him to bed at a normal bedtime and he’ll sleep there for a few hours and not come into my bed until 12/1am (this is an amazing turnaround trust me!)
Except now I have a new problem - I can’t sleep without him 🤦🏻‍♀️
I toss and turn and just can not settle until he comes in, then I’m out like a light - wtf is wrong with me?!
Has anyone else had this? This is really not an issue I ever thought I would have

Yep it’s just me isn’t it 🤦🏻‍♀️

How long have you been doing it? Just persevere and you’ll get used to it. At the moment it’s just habit.

But yes, it is just you

He’s never really slept from day 1, this new routine of him finally sleeping without me for a bit has been for the last 4 months or so
I thought I’d love it and would starfish and have such a settled few hours without him (he likes to sleep on my face) but nope!

I thought it probably was - what a fucking weirdo I am 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It’s not just you! DD is nearly 5, and apart from a few occasions, has been in the same bed as me pretty much every much since she was 1. We love snuggling up together, and it feels very weird when she’s not there.

My 2.5 year old was a truly awful sleeper, I was lucky to get a single hour of uninterrupted sleep for the first 2 years. Now she is slightly better at sleeping and even sometimes sleeping through the night, I have fucking insomnia. I think I've just got so used to waking every 30/45 minutes and my body clock hasn't reset. I've tried everything I can think of bar sleeping pills, sometimes I manage to drop off before the early hours but it's unusual. I feel your pain OP it's shit

It might be just that your brain is anticipating being woken up at 12/1am and won't let you sleep more so than you can't sleep without your toddler? My baby used to wake like clockwork at 12ish every night and fussed for 15 mins before going back to sleep and staying asleep until about 6am. For the first two weeks there was no way I could sleep before 12am no matter how tired. I think subconsciously I was waiting for her to get her little wake up out of her system first .

I'd imagine its more a case of you know he's going to come in and you'll be disturbed and you can't relax until he has come in. IYKWIM

Iv got a just turned two year old who won't clear off..
U want her?

You're probably expecting him to come in and are on the alert. It's natural to miss him but hopefully you'll settle soon.

Three year olds aren't toddlers though.

I’m the same op. Love sleeping next to my toddler.

Also There's nothing wrong with him continuing to sleep in your bed if that's what works for you both.

Snap - took me months to not wake with a panicky start if she hasn't wandered in! I would nip quickly into her room and check she was breathing.

Ah you’re all probably right in that I’m just expecting him - that makes much more sense (and makes me sound less crazy )

DotDashDotDot I would happily keep sleeping with him until he’s ready to move but this is more for DP really - he was ending up on the couch most nights and it was massively affecting his sleep/back/self esteem not to mention our relationship...turns out DS is a better snuggler though

It’s funny we’ve got one younger than him who will not tolerate going to sleep with anyone touching her at all, maybe I’m sensing that this is my last chance for sleepy cuddles 🙈 god I need to get a grip!

I think that's it's natural to miss him and to enjoy snuggling with him, and three is such a lovely age. Although it's amazing and wonderful to see them grow and develop and learn new things, it also means that they leave other habits and ways behind which we lose. You don't need to get a grip. You're perfectly normal, so don't feel bad about missing having him in your bed.

Ah that was lovely thankyou DotDash 😊

Same for me... my DS has woken every night to come into bed with me since he was about 1.5, he’s now 3.5 and I feel like I don’t go into a properly deep sleep until he calls me and gets in with me. DH hates it, he works nights most of the time and has to get into DS bed when he comes in.
I’ve tried settling DS back in his own bed but then he just wakes up again so it’s easier all round. And he gives the BEST cuddles, I can’t say no even though I know I should
Definitely not just you OP

It's ok OP.

Maybe your toddler will come in and give you a cuddle after 2 minutes, then 3, then 4, then 5, leaving you after you're calm, and eventually you'll learn to self settle.

OMGithurts as long as her toddler isn't a fan of CIO then I think OP will be OK

I feel you OP, my DS is 13 and I still miss sleepy snuggles.

OMGithurts 😂 I actually laughed out loud at that!

I’m the same OP. Even when the kids are away for an occasional sleepover , I can’t sleep. My 1 yo still cosleeps and the 5yo likes to wander through in the early hours. My brain just isn’t happy sleeping unless one of them is there. It’s abit annoyed as with them both in the bed, I’m quite squashed but when I have al the space I need I can’t sleep either

Yep, I had this too. I can't remember when it stopped, but sometimes I had to sleep in their room after failing to get to sleep in my own. I didn't have to be in the bed with them, but something about hearing them breathing allowed me to drift off

Oh mawbroon that is so sweet!

Tonight DS fell asleep in his bed by himself - I usually have to sit on the floor and hold his hand while he plays with my hair with the other, but DD had poo’d so I went off to do that and he just went to sleep by himself! Without me!! I’m not ready for this

I thought it was just me! Glad to know I'm not alone.