WWYD moving house/young DDs/taking on a mortgage/single mum

[namechangedbutneedadvice]

Thoughts are racing around my head, can I have some collective Mumsnet wisdom please... I don't know what to do in my situation.

2 years post-divorce from a lying shitbag. Two DDs 9 & 7 in years 5 and 3 at primary. We need to sell the house and I can't afford to buy exH out so we have to move. I'm very happy with this as there are too many memories here. But the area is lovely and we have great friends here, but I can only afford a 2 bed flat here. Do I move further afield (5 miles or so) to be able to afford a house?

I'm worried about uprooting my DDs after an already turbulent few years. They'd lose their friends, familiarity and we'd need new schools, new gymnastics, football and dance classes etc. But having grown up in a 2 bed flat myself with my mum dad and sis I remember how cramped it was. I've seen a house I love and I think it would be somewhere we could stay for a long time. Even space for if my parents want to live with us when they're older. It needs a lot of work doing to it though and I'd need to take on a large mortgage. But I have a good job and having already done up our current house, I know what's involved and feel really up for the challenge. Also know I burn out every now and again.

I'm a sociable person and sure I could start again in a new place. I've done it a fair bit in my life and generally always landed on my feet.

WWYD? Any advice gratefully appreciated.

Bump

Is it absolutely definite that's the biggest you could buy? If there any point waiting for something that needs doing up in your area or does that just not happen?

If you've had a turbulent time already and they're happy I'd be really reluctant to move them so maybe you could make the flat work for the next few years?

Personally if I could find a 3 bed flat in your current area and within your budget then I think that would be the best option. A huge mortgage, more upheaval for your DDs, living on a building site wouldn’t be what I’d do. But I do understand the desire for a fresh start... it’s tough and I wish you luck whatever you decide.

I'm also wondering if moving into a home with a big mortgage and lots of work is the best idea, especially if your children don't cope with the move too well and need lots of time with mum. Could you rent locally and wait and see for something closer to avoid lots of changes?

Can you not rent until senior school then buy a house in the senior school region? It would be around 3 years for the youngest but I imagine senior schools have a larger catchment area so you could stay where you are renting and your eldest can still be in the relevant senior school for the move. This prevents uprooting your children now and moves it to a time they would be naturally uprooted anyway. I know renting is empty money but actually could be worth it to prevent problems. You can gradually move classes, gym, football to the area where you will buy at natural times like end of years for summer so they’ll already have friends by the time they move

Moving schools in Y5/Y6 might be tough too, we moved cities but DD was in Y1, she would struggle in a new school (she's in Y5 now) even though she's pretty sociable. Friendships are quite established by then, and academically I wouldn't want her to be too disrupted before Y7, which brings a whole load of new experiences for them. So hard for you though, good luck in all your decisions.