Relationship, emotions & blame

[Fionaverity89]

So I am just coming into my second trimester and its all so overwhelming with emotions and feelings.
Before we found out we were pregnant I have had some personal emotional issues with loss, I lost both my parents 5 years ago and seem to only just discovered it is the reason why I am always so scared of losing everything in my life whether it is friends, family, partner etc.

It affects my relationship to this day, my partner thinks atm I am blaming my pregnancy on why I am so needy, I am very needy at the moment I have to admit but I am going through a lot of change, pains, migraines sleepless nights which does not help to the anxiety but he doesn't seem to understand.

Am I crazy :( I feel like I am making my partner angry all the time, he thinks that I need help, I am seeing a counselor on Tuesday and he wants to come which is fine but he makes me feel like I am the problem.

He also has a lot of problems that impacts our day to day lifes at times and he is bad at handling stress but I have never stopped supporting him, all I want from him is support back but I am just too needy :(

Im turning 30 in July and I just cant enjoy my pregnancy atm because I feel like I am the problem, he just cant cope with me and it scares me to death.

I have tried to support him by asking him what can I do to make it better for him, how can I help him, how can I understand him better. its like it went over his head. I feel so weak and out of options.

I don't want to put this pressure on him but I have and it really has become this awful thing that just keeps going round in circles.
He is super supportive at times, very loving and very caring but when he cant handle it its horrible for me and for him.

He has family he can call and get help from, I am not close to them, they will always be sided and he knows it. I moved to the other side of the world from uk and am as far away as possible from any one I know there so its harder to just pick up phone , I came to begin a new life nearly 3 years ago so its been brave, hard move for me in life.

My friend from aus told me to talk to other mums or mums to be, people who may of gone through the same things in life that can offer a better prospective to me.

I am really stuck, emotional, scared, terrified and out of explaining how I feel. I just want to begin a happy family, a family full of love, support and create a strong connection with.

He doesn't get it, I need support, love, I know I am needy but I have always been needy before the baby. I know I can improve everyone can all the way through life but am I doing the right thing :( it feels so hard right now and I cant handle it all by myself.

I just want to offer a handhold and some to you OP! Pregnancy is hard work, the hormones and emotions are all over the place. It's hard not to become needy! I cried a lot when my DP had to go to work and I was at home. I don't know what to tell you re your partner, I understand the stress it puts on dads to be but you are the one with the added hormones etc. I hope it gets better xx

Thank you mean so much to hear this. xo

No problem, I'm sorry I can't offer solutions. If you want to chat at any point feel free to PM me. I really feel for you, feeling like you're becoming a problem is horrible xx

Does he struggle when people get emotional & cry? When people are emotional around me I really struggle with things to say. If they’re overly emotional people I admit I start to lose empathy and think ‘ok get a grip now’. I’m not saying my reaction to emotions is normal but maybe your partner is similar to me?
If he’s been incredibly supportive in the past perhaps he’s just getting a bit fed up with you being overly emotional?
It’s hard when you’re pregnant because your hormones are all over the place and your body and mind are working overtime getting ready for your bundle of joy. But perhaps you could seek a bit of support from elsewhere to help you with your emotions but to lighten his load a bit. (I’m going to get flamed but honestly that is exactly how I am. Unless you’re a child or animal you won’t get much sympathy from me).

I think your right I need to off load else where and not s much onto him. I have been overly needy and I think he needs me to have more support from a gf or professional. I have struggled a bit with that. I have a gf who said she is going to be my extra support and to help me off load so he doesn't have to deal wit has much. hes so good, he just needs a bit of a break emotionally. Always honesty :)