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Original poster

children's party help

24 replies

Sleephead1 · 24/02/2019 07:06

my little boy is in reception so I have never done this before. Most people have had a full class party I do know two have just invited a couple of friends but these are families with older siblings that have invited these other families they are close too. My little boy wants to invite everyone other than 1 child that has hit him and been mean a few times. I've spoken to the teacher about hitting ect my son is very sensitive so takes this very much to heart. I've explained he can't do this he has to invite everyone you can't leave one person out. He then said ok il only invite some people and starts naming people I say again I can't really let you just randomly choose half the class. He is now crying about it saying he doesn't want this child at his party. I've explained no one is saying he needs to be friends , I will be at party , child's parents will be there but he's so upset so feel I don't want to force him to have someone he is so upset about so il cancel full class party. This is reception year and it seems the norm to do full class and I don't want to cause tension ECT so feel I can't just let him pick others and leave others out. I say what about just a family party but he wants his friends.What do you do in this situation? invite a tiny number ? invite all or none ? I feel I can't invite full class if he is this upset about as it's his party and I want him to be happy. Thank you

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 24/02/2019 07:11

Why can't he randomly invite half the class,? That's the ideal solution surely.
I can't believe all 30 kids will have a full class party. It's not compulsory! Do what works for you and stop overthinking it!

Happygolucky009 · 24/02/2019 07:12

Why would you not invite half the class and invite only the friend's he plays with?

Hollowvictory · 24/02/2019 07:12

BTW I have twins who were on different classes so a full class party would have been 60 kids. When mine were in reception they each invited a few friends. There are no 'rules' you do what works for you.

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1AngelicFruitCake · 24/02/2019 07:14

I think get a bit tough and decide on half that you agree on or invite all. If he can’t decide he can’t have a party! I’ve had this indecision with my eldest and I had to do that in the end!
Think it’s great you’re not leaving this boy out.

wendz86 · 24/02/2019 07:17

I’d just let him invite half the class

Seniorschoolmum · 24/02/2019 07:17

Agree with Hollow my ds has only ever had half the class to his party.
I don’t think anyone will mind.
Excluding one child isn’t kind but just choosing a shorter list is fine.

My ds usually chooses 10 boys and two girls who count as “honorary boys”. Smile

dementedpixie · 24/02/2019 07:18

Of course you can just invite half the class

azulmariposa · 24/02/2019 07:19

If he doesn't want him there, then please don't make him upset by inviting him! It would spoil the party for him.
Just let him invite who he wants.

user1474894224 · 24/02/2019 07:20

He either invites all....including hitting boy. Or has a smaller party....half a class is fine. However, I have had 3 kids and never did the whole class party but wish I had with DS1 as it's a great way to get to know parents. DD2 would never have enjoyed a big party....she had 3 friends for BD tea. DS3 invited about 10 boys from school....which along with his siblings, cousins and family friends made 20. The max at his venue.

Original poster
Sleephead1 · 24/02/2019 07:22

thank you for replies so is that ok to just let him pick half ? I just feel it's a bit mean for half the class to get a invitation and the other half not ? I probably am over thinking this I just don't know what people do he's been invited to 4 full class parties but I suppose I have no idea what others have done really maybe they did invite from the class but not everyone. I suppose I'm just being ridiculous but would be at want any bad feelings ( I've seen threads on here were people are going to ask why their child wasn't invited ) I suppose I thought as they get older they have more established groups and then invite less but mostly at reception they just invite everyone as they are all friends. I would never leave one child out at all. Thank you all I feel a bit better after asking so would you say as long as it's under half it's ok ?

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 24/02/2019 07:22

No way would I Invite the hitter. It totally denies your child's feelings about this child. Children should not be forced to have bullies at their parties. What will your child learn from that? That it's OK to bulky and hit and that when he says he's being hit mum and dad don't listen.

Hollowvictory · 24/02/2019 07:23

Yes invite half. It is not mean not to invite the whole class. There will be plenty parties your son doesn't get invited to so drop the 'it's mean' thing ASAP

Deliqueen · 24/02/2019 07:25

We've never had a whole class party. I think it's only a thing on here! Let him invite who he wants to his party! As long as you dont exclude just 1 child it's absolutely fine.

Original poster
Sleephead1 · 24/02/2019 07:29

I know I probably sound daft he's a very sensitive boy and only started at the nursery the last few months before the summer holidays and struggled all the parents were lovley and very sweet to us both he was invited to 3 parties in those 2 and a half months.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleephead1 · 24/02/2019 07:35

hollowvictory I would never want him to feel like that and have talked to him about it a lot he knows he can always come to us and I have spoken to the teacher about it, what to do , that he doesnt have to be friends or play with this child , but at the same time I don't think a 4 year old is a bully they only started school in September and lots of children probably have trouble settling in , following rules , sharing ECT. I am keeping a close eye on it and as my son is so upset I won't invite the whole class.

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 24/02/2019 07:53

Well there you are then, don't invite the hitter just invite half the class.

FaithInfinity · 24/02/2019 08:06

It’s fine to do a smaller party. Definitely don’t force him to have the hitter. My Mum forced me to socialise with someone who bullied me, it wasn’t good. It’s better to have a smaller party, do something with limited numbers so he can say ‘Oh I could only invite x people’ if necessary!

combatbarbie · 24/02/2019 08:10

Half the class is absolutely fine! Full class parties are bloody expensive.

We are year 2 now and its now "normal" to just have a select few and do an activity.

2rachtin · 24/02/2019 08:11

We could have accommodated 20 of my daughter's reception class but I only let her invite 14 - under half the class is fjne in my opinion - over then it's a bit mean to leave children out. We are almost 6 months though the year - he's have been invited to 15 parties ish by now if everyone did full class parties.

thefirst48 · 24/02/2019 08:13

I've never done a full class party. This year both my boys are inviting 12 classmates to their parties.

PosiePerkinandPootle · 24/02/2019 08:21

If it helps find an activity or venue that restricts the numbers eg/ when mine were that age our local soft play did an hours play and an hour in a party room for food & games which only held 20.

Happygolucky009 · 24/02/2019 08:25

I have only done one full class party, have attended a few..... rarely are they fun!

Toodleoopuddle · 24/02/2019 08:34

I heard the general rule is you can invite half the class or less...or the whole class....but nothing in between.i think it's fine

Hollowvictory · 24/02/2019 09:03

There is no 'rule'.!

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