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When your childs ready to flee the nest

4 replies

CeeCee46 · 23/02/2019 21:46

Im a mum of two boys 14 and and nearly 16, i work full time and have never thought of myself as clingy. My husband and i often talk about the days to come when the boys have left home and we'll be able to have weekends away and stuff. However ive always imagined this will be when theyre 18 ie adults, a couple of years away. My eldest however has over the last few months decided he wants to join the army, not a new rhought but its crystallised over the last few months and hes certain he doesnt want to sit a levels, hes deperate to get out in the world and spread his wings, ie join at 16 and go away to the army college. Hes very mature for his age and weve alaays been very close so i find myself torn. Im devastated at the thought of him basically leaving home ar 16, and only seeing him at allotted times when i had thought i had him for another two years. Of course i only want him to b happy tho and live the life he wants to live so i cant stop him for selfish reasons. I feel like my heart is breaking and just wondered if anyones been through this and got through the other side? Trying to pull myself together but ridiculous as it sounds this feels comparable to the grief i felt when my dad died, i feel angry at the army for taking my 16 year old boy from me (even though they havrnt got him yet and he wants to go!) . Thanks for reading, it helps to get it out x

OP posts:
lljkk · 23/02/2019 23:47

It took months for DS to get his Army application sorted. Is your 16yo still in school? He might not like it. They come home a lot on Leave in first year.

24347742steve · 13/12/2021 14:49

how do you know that your child is ready for independent living. Living in the family home, they can only learn some of the responsibilities of living independently and running a house and all that that involves. Much of living independently involves learning on the job (with help from family and good friends.

TheCreamCaker · 13/12/2021 16:06

I've got 2 sons. The first left home at 22, but only moved 3 doors away!
2nd son left at 25! He bought a house with his then partner, about 1/3 of a mile away. He split with her a few years ago and now lives even closer to us.

We see both sons at least twice a week, both have always been close to us.

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justasking111 · 13/12/2021 16:09

Well you will still be home for a long time yet. His leave will be spent with you

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