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Original poster

I miss being a Mum

53 replies

RealityCheck909 · 23/02/2019 16:16

Today I took 2 trains & walked 5 miles with 3 bags of shopping to see my 2 DS 18 & 20 who house share together.
I cooked us lunch (the 1st cooked meal one had had in 3 weeks 😂)
We didn’t have any garden chairs so we sat in the sun with lunch & wine out of Beano mugs on cushions.
I cleaned the washing machine & did 2 loads of washing
I batch cooked meals for the freezer
I cleaned the hob
I listened to them bickering about toilet paper
I listened to their plans for the evening- so carefree
They asked for washing/cooking advice
I got impromptu hugs
I got thank you

The best afternoon in many years
I miss being a mum

OP posts:
GigglyPiggly · 24/02/2019 16:33

I feel the same Sad I have 2 sons both away at university. I miss making lunchboxes and cleaning school shoes. I miss their funny stories. I feel redundant. I hate having an empty nest.

At the same time I'm so proud of what they've achieved and their independence.

It's nice that yours live together and you can see them together.

myidentitymycrisis · 24/02/2019 16:37

I don't miss being a mum, I still am and I love the adult relationship I have with my ds. Yesterday he came to me bringing ingredients and cooked me lunch, the opposite of what you did today OP.

Now I no longer cook, clean and wash, we communicate on a different level; he confides in me about his relationships and how he is developing an understanding of what drives people in a completely different way to just a couple of years ago.and I know he values my opinion, for what its worth!

Just meaning to say OP, you sound like a great mum and I'm sure your kids appreciate you, and IME it only gets better.

tomhazard · 24/02/2019 16:39

Mine are only 4 and 6 but I know I will hate having an empty nest. They are frustrating often but I love parenting and always feel like I'm rushing around doing other stuff and not spending enough time with them. This post inspired me to stop all the dashing and sit down and play snakes and ladders with DD when she asked. Thanks op you reminded me to cherish their littleness. You sound like a super mum and I'm sure your boys will make a good impact on the world around them

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pinkstripeycat · 24/02/2019 16:42

I am dreading mine leaving home and think I will feel like you OP. When I am rushing around like a loon I tell myself “enjoy this time because one day you will wish it back again.”

pinkstripeycat · 24/02/2019 16:46

My longest standing friend (my DCs godmother) has 4 grown up DCs. She told me a long time ago to sit and watch my own DCs playing, take it all in, video it, photograph it as one day it will have passed. Today they’ve played footy in the garden now they are wrestling on the floor - I have a sink full of pots to wash but I’m sitting here watching them lol

MaryBoBary · 24/02/2019 16:50

You are still a mum, you will just start to need to help and support your sons in different ways as they get older. Less practically and more emotionally. But you sound like an amazing mum and they are lucky to have you.

Mother87 · 24/02/2019 16:50

ThanksThanksThanksi understand/empathise...not that it helpsGrin

Overseasmom100 · 24/02/2019 16:52

OP that's brought a tear to my eye. Just had a shouting match with my 14 yr old DS over doing homework and tidying his room...he's so ungrateful and rude and a total teenager at the mo. Made me sad that Im so uncool to him all because I care. I know it wont last forever makes me feel like a bad mum that he sounds like he hates me because Im always "moaning at him unlike his friends nice cool mums".

Ignore the nasty comments on here I think you never stop being a Mum and it gave you pleasure!!

Decormad38 · 24/02/2019 16:55

Aw treasured memories Flowers

rockingthelook · 24/02/2019 16:57

Love your post, what a fab Mum you are!, my eldest at uni, youngest still at home and I enjoy being able to go out on my own, do my own thing now they are older, but still love doing things for and with them. Dropped off my eldest at uni a few weeks ago, still cleaned her bathroom and got rid of her rubbish before I left, and took a cupboard full of food, I did it because I wanted to, not than I was asked to. My family are all grown up and of course can do these things for themselves, however, I enjoyed doing these things, it's only the same as what my Mum did for me, and still would if she could. Good on you, I get it :)

ssd · 24/02/2019 17:01

Agree op

Snog · 24/02/2019 17:03

Aww that's really lovely OP.
I'm dreading mine going off to uni.

Hiddenaspie1973 · 24/02/2019 17:05

That's lovely OP. Sounds like you all had a lovely day and that's what counts x x

GetOffTheTableMabel · 24/02/2019 17:06

And they’re adults. They could live with anyone and they choose to live with each other. That’s got to feel pretty good, OP.
My 2 dds are 18 & 13. I thought they’d have started to fall out with each other by now but they’re stuck each other’s favourite people. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it lasts into adulthood too.

Canshopwillshop · 24/02/2019 17:10

What a lovely mum you are. I get totally what you are saying too - your boys are obviously more than capable of coping without you but it’s nice for you to spoil them once in a while and do your mum thing!

Yogagirl123 · 24/02/2019 17:11

Bless you OP. You have done a great job by the sound of things.

My DS’ are growing up and are very close brothers, total opposites, but they get on so well.

I can quite imagine myself in your position in a couple of years.

However, I couldn’t walk 5 miles sadly. But I would always get to my boys.

You are still mum, pleased you have had a lovely day with your sons.

RogueV · 24/02/2019 17:14

I have a 4 week old and 3 and a half year old. I’m absolutely battered right now.

Your post has really made me smile x

hellsbells99 · 24/02/2019 17:14

Glad you had a lovely day with your DCs.
My 2 DDs are both away at university and I normally try and do some batch cooking for them at the start of each term and do some shopping for them.

EthelFechan · 24/02/2019 17:44

How do you clean a washing machine?

Mmmmbrekkie · 24/02/2019 17:47

How come “many years” when they are 18 and 20?!

MegaBat · 24/02/2019 17:49

I think it's lovely too

I wouldn't have taken two trains and then walked five miles with 3 bags of shopping though! I presume you had to walk five miles back? You're a better woman than I am

I have one at uni aged 20 and one at home aged just 12. The 20 year old needs me as much if not more than she ever has really and will no doubt be home after she's finished uni.

Supergrassyknoll · 24/02/2019 17:51

You sound lovely x

Letthemysterybe · 24/02/2019 18:01

You Have clearly done a good job. You have sons independent enough to leave home, and who get on well enough to chose to live together. I’m sure they are more than capable of cooking for themselves, they are probably just too busy working and socialising!

BigStripeyBastard · 24/02/2019 18:22

Oh come on, this is brilliant!
My mum sent me to university completely able to fend for myself. She'd still pop up on a random Sunday every so often with a full Sunday roast for me and my flatmates and feed us all and offer (completely unsolicited) advice on washing, cleaning, life etc. It was great!
She'd leave stuff for the freezer, make us all oatcakes, bring us cheese etc. It's what mum's do and I have nothing but fond memories of it!