To set the scene, I’m not a great fan of my ILs I signed a prenup when I married my DH at their insistence. Despite 10 years with my husband I took the prenup incredibly personally, it was clear to me I would never be a member of their family and I have kept my distance from them ever since. We now have a 7 month old, the only grandchild and so far the ILs have seen her maybe 4 times since she was born.
I am torn, I don’t really like them and given the choice would not spend time with them. However, they are DH parents and my daughters grandparents so they should have a relationship with her. However, since she has been born they have been insanely grabby with my daughter when they see her. They want to hold her every single moment she is not feeding or sleeping. Its not in a "ooh can we hold the baby” way, it's a more entitled "give us the baby” way. Its put my back up even further and I feel a deep rooted need to protect my daughter from them (hormones/their entitlement?).
How do I navigate a relationship with them (they live a couple of hours away)? I never had grandparents so don't have any personal experience of a loving grandparent relationship. I am very close to my parents who also live far away but are a huge support, the key difference between my parents and ILs is that my parents focus on what is best for the baby and are very sensitive to her needs, whilst ILs tend to focus on their needs and my DD fitting in with that.
Interested to hear peoples experiences, my instinct is to continue keeping them at arms length, but equally I want what’s best for my daughter, I can’t decide if a close relationship with them is good given they appear to have little respect for me. Is it something that might improve with time?