My new cleaner

[weegiemum]

I used to have a wonderful, lovely, totally reliable cleaner. Sadly, Brexit got to her too much and she moved (reluctantly) back to Poland last summer. We were good friends too, we'd have coffee half way through the morning (I'm disabled so home when cleaner is here) and I'd help her with paperwork/school letters etc. I miss her.

After that we were having building work done so embraced the mess.

Christmas passed (I got a deep clean firm in after the build but they don't do weekly cleaning) and we got a highly recommended new lady, seemed really nice, happy to help.

First week she couldn't do the morning, came over lunch. Second week she thought we wanted fortnightly so didn't come at all. Last 4 weeks it's been very erratic when she turned up (doctor appointment, washing machine broken so needed to wait in etc etc) but never at 9.30 when she said she'd arrive. One week she did our whole house in one hour (our bedroom, en-suite, family bathroom, hall/stair/landing, downstairs loo, large kitchen, lounge diner) and it just was sloppy - didn't empty bins, didn't mop into corners etc.

Today she didn't show at all. I'm having a hard time with my MH at the moment and was just too anxious to call or text. All morning I thought she'd just come in the afternoon and then she didn't.

When she comes and does a proper job it's great. But not knowing when she's coming or if she's coming is making my anxiety worse. And I really would do it myself but I have restricted mobility and limited use of my hands, that's why I spend my PIP on a cleaner!

I just need to let her go aren't I??
but I can't face trying to find someone else either. Poor dh is going to have to do it. Again. Pah I feel so useless

Be nice please!

What a load of drivel about something so insignificant. True first world problem!

Sorry

Have you looked on Care. Com? I am on there! Very reliable! Still have the customers I started with over 6 years ago!

Gosh that was uncalled for by the previous poster. My cleaners have been a massive help for me and the extra help can be a lifesaver.
I get the struggle I have had a few problems with cleaners (although am so thankful for mine now) think many go into houses when the homeowners are out so they don't worry too much about timings... but I think you just need to speak to her and say that it's important that she comes at the same time.

I'll have a look at that thanks.

She didn't even empty a bin... The most basic task.
Nothing to do with timings!!

Do you use the dreaded Facebook OP?

Could you ask for recommendations on there? I got our Cleaner from there, and she is fantastic.

She gave me the option of a full, deep clean each visit, or a whisk around.

She did both on subsequent weeks, so I could decide.

But yes, you do need to get rid of your current cleaner.

It is a business relationship, so just keep it unemotional "sorry cleaner, I really need a reliable service, so I won't need you anymore"

What was uncalled for @Toodleoopuddle ?

Set boundaries and don't apologise. From
Experience id say this won't improve and start looking for someone else now. Be really clear about the fact you need reliability and that it won't work otherwise. Never give keys until you have established this fact.

Can you advertise on a local Facebook group? Get lots of references!

Oh that's shit.
I found my cleaner on FB and she's now one of my best friends, she's fabulous.

Sorry, that wasn't very helpful, but definitely ask on FB.
Do any of your friends have a cleaner, or know someone who does?

Yeah that’s shit OP.

Let her go and get recommendation for someone reliable. And definitely ask for references.

@Toodleoopuddle are the op's comments not highlighted for you?
I assume you read the second post as a different poster in which case that would be harsh.

But yes just let your cleaner go, it's #justnotworkingforyou is probably the way forward.

Oh haha yes I Did! I read the second comment as somebody else saying your problem was first world problems! Ignore me...am very tired!

Oh god, I could have written this post.

Also disabled, dependent on cleaner/helper to get things done. Have been spoilt by having marvellous cleaners who were totally on top of things even when I could barely speak and was stuck in bed.

Current person has reduced me to tears.

Same as your experience, weegiemum. She came highly recommended, and is very personable. In the initial mutual interview, she merrily agreed to everything I said would be needed.

Now she just Doesn't Fucking Do even the basic regular list. It's not a long list or complicated, but I can't do things myself so when she "forgets" to empty the bins or change the bedding I'm stuffed.

I can't fire her till I've replaced her, and I haven't been well enough to go through all that. The knowledge that I will replace her eventually is all that's keeping me going...

OMG not drivel and maybe a first world problem but a very valid one! I too could have written your post.

I'm going to share my woes as I think it will be cathartic. Like you I had a great cleaner, we had coffee if I was home , we chatted about our families, felt a connection, she was kind about my mobility problems, said she would never leave me in the lurch... and now has basically done exactly that. She just stopped coming, and is sending her husband in her place (normally he's a commercial cleaner). I've no idea why she left. He's terrible. Supposed to stay 2 hours, leaves after 1.5 unless I am there and can find him jobs to fill the time. She, on the other hand, was wonderful, cleaned all the corners without me having to ask, and did things on rotation eg quick flick in the dining room this week but would do it thoroughly next week. She always could see what needed doing. i was so happy with her. I feel I can't get rid of him because of the connection with her.

Even if I could get rid of him, I can't find a new one. I advertised on local FB, asking for recommendations. I said I needed someone reliable to come in the afternoon once a week for 2 hours, must have own car. The answers I got :
I could take the bus, how far do you live from the bus stop? Er, about 5 miles up a very steep hill. Snow in winter and regularly 35degrees in summer.
I can come on Monday mornings No, it says afternoons in the ad
Aargh! It is affecting my MH too. It is stressful not knowing whether he'll come or not and whether he'll do a vaguely good job if he comes. Just cannot face advertising again and dealing with more crazy answers!

and solidarity, weegiemum

Update a week on:

Well I was a big old scaredy-cat and didn't fire her. Got a text in the evening from her partner saying she'd had a bad week with her mental health but would make it up.

Then nothing.

Last night dh texted her to check she was coming today - yes, no bother!

She hasn't shown up.

Dh cleaned on Wednesday (his day off) and I managed to keep on top of stuff and mop the floor (my arms and hands paid for it!). Going to put teenagers to work (they're happy to do it for a small incentive - on top of their general chores) as we've friends coming round tomorrow and I was saving my energy for cooking. And she's deffo not coming back now!!

Ouch. Sorry it took an actual semi-disaster, but I'm glad to hear you're now over the hump and she's not coming back.

Go teenagers!

Haven't sorted out mine yet. Next one might just be differently bad, so... Them swings, them roundabouts...

Friday night is a good time to be offering floor mopping and microwave cleaning for cash, as the 2 I still have at home are usually keen to earn a bit for the weekend!

It's not like the place is a tip or hard to clean, if I wasn't disabled I'd do it myself no bother (well I'd be working if I wasn't disabled, but you know what I mean ...). It's a new build, we don't have fancy furniture, I don't make anyone go in the dc rooms (except dh when he's on the forage for forks!). We have a dog who doesn't shed, an outdoor cat and 2 well-behaved guinea pigs!

Back to the search tomorrow then.

Flatly I hope you get yours organised. It's a worry doing without when it's an essential thing!

Friday motivation!

I'm still hanging on with current cleaner – have dramatically reduced my expectations, am trailing round checking the basics and am carefully scheduling 5-min-tasks for... 5 mins before she leaves – so she can't just disappear to another room for 40 mins. Small, simple house here, too.

I'm also spending time and energy shredding stuff, as she likes to read the contents of the recycling bin...

I used to tell told my previous cleaners how very much I appreciated their excellent work – even when they said "Don't be daft, anyone would do the same." Now I'm really glad I did.