I wasn't sure where to put this so I've used Chat.
Background before we start: DS is 7. He started potty training at around 2 and was slow getting it but eventually went longer periods without accidents. He was the first of toddler group friends to be out of nighttime nappies. He's a very intelligent boy so shouldn't really have a problem understanding what is needed.
DS has 'accidents' on a regular basis. We regularly ask him if he needs the toilet and often have to resort to telling him to go. We notice he's got a wet patch or notice the smell, so ask if he's wet himself and he'll just say 'I don't know' or 'oh yeah' he isn't at all bothered by it. If he's wet himself at school he'll just sit in the wet pants and not tell anyone but then also not change when he gets in. Occasionally his clothes smell of wee just because he's not wiped after going to the toilet. It's not just wee, there's been occasions where he's pooed himself and will still have a lump in his pants (sorry for the TMI) or he won't wipe properly and leave marks in his pants.
He isn't bothered by it at all. I don't believe it's a medical issue like not feeling the sensation of needing to go. I'm 90% sure it is down to laziness. We noticed he was having a lot of accidents when he was too engrossed in the TV so we stopped him being allowed screen time all together but it still hasn't stopped things. He seems to go through periods of being fine and we think we've finally cracked it but then a few weeks later we're back again.
We've tried:
Reward charts,
Praising for going to the toilet,
Ignoring the accidents just changing clothes and reminding what he should have done,
Taking things away,
Asking why he does it (he just comes up with a bunch of excuses),
Giving more water to expand his bladder.
It's really getting me down. I feel like I've been in that stressful potty training stage for the last 5 years, constantly worrying if he's going to wet himself on someone's fabric sofa and stuff like that.
Please help me! 😣