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Original poster

CF golden rules

24 replies

Urgh2019 · 21/02/2019 23:56

I drive past an industrial estate and there is a company with the initials CF, which obviously always makes me think of MN.
Anyway I drove past today and there is a sign by their security gate which says ‘CF Golden Rules’ which is probably stuff about site safety blah blah.....

However, instead I would be interested in your Cheeky Fucker golden rules instead Grin

OP posts:
mumsie8 · 21/02/2019 23:57

Never take no for an answer

Original poster
Urgh2019 · 21/02/2019 23:58

I googled them, they make fertilisers...

OP posts:
Original poster
Urgh2019 · 21/02/2019 23:59

My contribution... of course everyone wants to look after your children, all the time, for free, no matter the inconvenience.

OP posts:
mumsie8 · 21/02/2019 23:59

Or in CF territory, No is not a complete sentence Grin

Myusernameismud · 22/02/2019 00:00

Park on people's driveways or across dropped kerbs, always.

Never pay for childcare, that's what part time/WFH friends are for!

Borrow things from friends, and lose them or give them back broken.

Can't think of anymore for now, I'm sure eill be back though. I am the ultimate CF.

Disclaimer: I'm not really....

SunnyForMe · 22/02/2019 00:01

Why do something yourself when you can make somebody else do it for you? (For free, of course!)

TinselAndKnickers · 22/02/2019 00:02

You must always play the victim - ALWAYS!

ShadyLady53 · 22/02/2019 00:05

“Why wait to be invited when you can invite yourself?”

Mumshappy · 22/02/2019 00:13

Always impose on others and overstay your welcome
Your needs and wants come before anyone elses.
Never pay back any money borrowed

C0untDucku1a · 22/02/2019 00:18

Ask you to take their child on an outing with your children in front of all the children, with ten minutes notice, snd send them with £2 to spend on lunch.

Ask to borrow items constantly, ranging from camping equipment to hair accessories. Never give anything back.

Make a fuss over your dd having half a tin of soup at your house. Oh the cost!

I may be projecting...

ShadyLady53 · 22/02/2019 00:26

Yep...”Why pay for something when you can steal borrow it?”

“Why save money in advance or go without like a normal human when you can just demand loans you’ll never repay from friends and family?”

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 22/02/2019 00:26

Complain regularly and loudly about how hard life is for you. Fail to notice any difficulties experienced by those around you.

SneakyGremlins · 22/02/2019 00:26

Why parent your own children when you can get some mug to do it for you?

GreenTulips · 22/02/2019 00:28

It’s all about me!

CF always think everyone else thinks the same way they do and come unstuck when they realise it’s not true

PodgeBod · 22/02/2019 00:28

Just ask, they might feel too embarrassed to say no!

nutellalove · 22/02/2019 00:29

Always split the bill equally if I've had £50 more food/drink than others.

Split the bill to the last penny if my meal cost £0.03 less than anyone else's at the table

CigarsofthePharoahs · 22/02/2019 07:32

You don't need to ask, it's fine to just take stuff. You'll probably get round to giving it back - eventually. If someone complains you've taken something then just tell them to calm down and then critique them on their "unchristian attitude".
Also those blue signs in the car park that look like someone sat in a half circle don't mean anything. You can park there, preferably at a very jaunty angle so no-one else can fit in next to you and bonus points for blocking the ramp into the building too.
Besides, you know you deserve adoration just for turning up! Everyone should bask in your presence and laugh at your bad and frankly offensive "jokes".

I need to stop now. It's a good job my natural blood pressure is actually on the very low side or I think some people would make my head explode.

JumpOrBePushed · 22/02/2019 07:52

The number one rule is to always remember that you are the most important person in the world and so what you want should be the top priority for everyone.

HeartZone · 22/02/2019 08:03

If something is offered for free on Facebook or the like, ask when they can deliver it to you 😂 but you’re not in this day, that day, etc.

Connieston · 22/02/2019 08:06

In every event, whether funeral, wedding, birth of someones baby, your feelings and needs are the most important.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 22/02/2019 08:06

Slightly off thread but on the estate I live on there is a car with the reg LTB!

Makes me smile and think of Mumsnet every time!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 22/02/2019 08:20

You have three default setings, disingenuous, outrage and ignorant. Bonus points for all three at once.
Why admit you may be wrong, you never are.

UghFletcher · 22/02/2019 08:38

Easy.. just be my ex SIL Grin

  • play the victim constantly
  • completely gloss over your disgusting behaviour
  • anyone who disagrees with you is awful
  • be entitled to any and all money that you can get your hands on
  • see nothing wrong with others constantly looking after your children for free
UghFletcher · 22/02/2019 08:39

Sorry, bold fail 😑

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