Is my baby missing out by not going to nursery?

[Mmmbopper]

I have given up a high pressure job with long commute to stay home with our baby (nearly a year old) for at least the next year and maybe until she's at school, although I'm looking at starting a business longer term.

I know how lucky I am that we can afford to do this (less luxuries). Recently I've heard from mums about how much their babies are enjoying nursery and how relieved they feel and glad about their decision and it made me wonder for the first time if my baby is going to miss out? We do something every day and she'll go to preschool etc when she's older. She is very sociable but also slightly more reserved if that makes sense - so I feel she'd be happiest in a home setting but with lots of play group opportunities. She seems very happy at the moment which is lovely

AIBU to doubt myself all of a sudden? Want to do the best for her!

I was worrying the same - currently a SAHM with a 14 mont old. Read an article (unfortunately can't remember where) somewhere that said there's no active benefit (but also no harm) to a child being in nursery before the age of 2, or generally being away from the primary care giver.

After that age, on a population level, children start to do better at nursery. But I believe that is taking into account children who wouldn't necessarily be exposed to things like literacy and numeracy in the home, or a wide variety of other activities - art, music etc. And those that wouldn't be mixing with other children. I did wonder if that's why free hours kick in at 2?

My little boy will be starting 2 mornings a week at nursery in a month or so. But that is more for my benefit than his, so I get a bit of a break. I think as long as you're out and about, mixing with other toddlers and covering the basics, it will be fine x

She's not missing out at her age. All mine went to part-time nursery before a year, but only because we both worked. The only person she needs right now is you.

Your baby will absolutely not 'miss out' by spending time with you.

This is just something that working parents say to justify to themselves their decision to put their young baby in nursery.

What exactly are children meant to miss out on by not going to nursery? Social interaction, structured activity? All of these can be done with a parent.

My ds has been since 9 months and my dd will start at 9 months but that is due to personal preference because I want to return to work.

I personally think up until about 2 it is childcare and after that point they are building friendships & learning about socialising.

Now my ds is 3 and in preschool I actually think it is really important he goes. They are currently learning phonics & by the time he starts school will potentially be far ahead of the kids who have been at home up until school age.

Ds was also sick non stop for the first 6 months of nursery which was horrific but he now never gets sick. My Dsis told me that my DN (who went to nursery from 6 months) hasn't had a day off school in 5 years - prob because he caught all
The germs whilst at nursery & built up immunity!!

Nurseries suit parents more than babies. A good nursery will do no harm but doesn't bring any particular benefits for a baby unless the home environment is very poor.

At nursery she would share an adult’s attention with at least 2 other babies. At home she gets 1 to 1 attention from someone who loves her.

Our daughter is 21 months, she has never been to nursery as we sort childcare between us so we have never needed it.

However, when she is two, she will start going to pre school one or two days per week. I think it will be good for her, at that age I think it means more and she hopefully will enjoy it.

Nurseries suit parents more than babies. A good nursery will do no harm but doesn't bring any particular benefits for a baby unless the home environment is very poor
Babies do not need nurseries but parents who have to work feel better if they think it's beneficial to the child.
Massive germ pools. My DC were constantly ill, if I was doing it all again I would stay at home, for all sorts of reasons.

No, your baby isn't missing out based on what you said.

Some babies benefit from nursery. As other posters have said some benefit from having a mother/father/carer who has had a bit of time off! That's not a direct benefit of nursery though, that would be the same of you let the child with a grandparent/nanny/childminder/friend. Some benefit because the nursery can offer something that isn't available at home, but as your baby as everything they need at home there is no need for nursery.

You also don't have to, if you don't want to, buy into the 'they must go to preschool to be ready for school' thinking. We'll end up going to nursery when we're pregnant soon because God forbid they aren't 'ready' for pre-pre-pre school the day they're born!! We don't need to get them into formal education earlier and earlier.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/02/nurseries-childcare-pre-school-cortisol

A few years old but summarises a lot of the research.

Absolutely no, not at that age and I say this as someone who did return to work, although mine went to a childminder. When she is about 2, I do think she would benefit from some nursery sessions but you really don’t have to worry about it for now. Just relax and enjoy. A mother’s guilt, eh? I’ve done it all; SAHM, full time work, part time work and whatever I have done, I’ve always fretted.