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Original poster

awkward situation

10 replies

Bonnynorton2 · 21/02/2019 10:45

Silly situation here. A friend is driving quite a long distance to the village where my DM lives. This is really helpful as I look after my DM who has dementia. Friend's DF lives nearby so it's not massively out of her way but I think she is partly doing it to be kind and helpful.

Anyway, friend wants to leave at 9 on Saturday. The only thing is DH and I have marriage guidance counselling at that time so I can't leave until 10. I told friend I had to go on an errand so could I come later and now she says she will take me on the errand instead. I don't know what to say!

OP posts:

IvanaPee · 21/02/2019 10:49

I would tell her. I don’t think it’s a big deal. But I get that not everyone thinks that way.

Maybe a version of the truth? It’s a medical app and dh is taking you?

Original poster

Bonnynorton2 · 21/02/2019 10:51

I suppose I have to tell her the truth but I feel bad that I have lied and also that I'll make her late when she's doing me a favour.

OP posts:

IvanaPee · 21/02/2019 10:54

Oh don’t feel bad that you’ve lied! She’ll understand, it’s a very personal thing!

Plus you’re not keeping her late, she offered to wait around!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dementia & alzheimer's

Original poster

Bonnynorton2 · 21/02/2019 11:10

ivanapee you are very nice. My friend isn't so nice unfortunately. I think she will be annoyed that she has offered to do me a favour and I lied and then will make her late!

OP posts:

thebabessavedme · 21/02/2019 11:22

tell her thanks but it is a private appointment, dont explain any further, even if she asks.

if she does, just keep repeating, 'its a private matter, thanks for understanding I dont want to talk about it' remember that we are all entitled to a private life.

IvanaPee · 21/02/2019 11:25

Ooh if she’s not nice then perhaps keep it to yourself!

Maybe cry off altogether? Could you push your counselling session perhaps?!

Youmadorwhat · 21/02/2019 11:30

Just say “ I’m sorry I told you a white lie, I was a bit embarrassed to say it but I actually have s marriage counseling session until 10” would it be possible to meet you somewhere suitable after”

Original poster

Bonnynorton2 · 21/02/2019 11:43

Thanks all. I have told her a white lie about why I need to be in that place at that time and she is going to pick me up from there. We've been friends for 40 years but if I have to resort to lies an worry what she will think of me I wonder if I need to rethink our friendship.

OP posts:

IvanaPee · 21/02/2019 12:05

I would wonder that too, tbh. But not right now! Now you have enough going on :)

Parthenope · 21/02/2019 12:09

Yes, shelve that thought, OP, as you do have enough going on, but it's something that comes up a lot on Mn, people refer to 'friends' and then in the same thread talk about how these 'friends' aren't at all nice, or that they don't like them -- I continue to find it baffling. Obviously, people can fall out, but by definition my friends are without exception people whom I like, who are nice and who behave well to me!

I can understand you not necessarily wanting to talk about something as personal as marriage counselling, but do you really think your friend would be unpleasant if you said you'd told her a white lie about something you wanted to keep to yourself?

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