How do you talk? keep a convo flowing and be engaging? I seriously need help.

[punkypins]

I lack social skills as in not that I say stupid or inappropriate things etc. More i find it difficult to make small talk, superficial chit chat with people especially with new ppl I've just met.

I just don't know what to say and am really boring. I've observed how others do it and I just can't figure it out. It just happens so naturally for them and 5mins earlier with me the convo was just dry.

I know its practice but are there any tips. Im really struggling and it means I've not been able to develop any meaningful relationships and make friends and have felt so isolated.

I'm the same op. Can't do small talk...I don't know how others know what to say?

Ask questions and listen to the answers then ask follow up questions.

Simple things like - “I like your top. Where is it from” “oh really, m and s, what do you think of their 2019 range?”, then “I miss the 90s, don’t you?” Etc etc.

Same can work for food, holidays. Music etc

It's difficult unless you have things in common with someone. The thing I would say, is ask questions, not too intrusive, but just about day to day things. Then the next time you see them, you can follow up with a question about something they brought up, e.g. their mothers health, you can ask how it is now.

I try the question thing but I feel im just firing out one question after another like the Spanish inquisition!

Do you have interesting things to talk about? What's going on in your life? Who is the person you are talking to, and what's interesting (to you) about them?

There isn't a 'one size fits all' set of conversational gambits. For instance, all my clothes are really old, so asking where something was from wouldn't advance the conversation (as I'd be unlikely to remember), and I live rurally and honestly can't remember the last time I darkened the door of an M and S, so would have no idea what their 2019 range was like.

What kind of situations are you talking about, OP?

The questions need to be open, e.g. not 'do you cycle?' which can get a yes/no answer, but 'how do you keep fit?' which could open up a discussion about any kind of sport or exercise, diet, or how much a person hates exercise and what they prefer to do in their spare time.

Also, most people with dc love to talk about them, even if they are grown-up dc so 'what's Sarah up to at the moment?' could start a conversation going which you may have some experiences to add to or comments to make.

Oh yes, family conversation and open questions. Both good tipa

Ok so open questions. Yes I think my questions can be quite closed. I'll keep that in mind.

Its usually informal, casual situations like a gathering of friends and family at someone's house or a wedding which I'll be going to on the weekend which has prompted me to write this post. Where I'd know a few people and not know others.

The trick really is being actually interested in the answers to any questions you ask. People will open up and tell you much more than you want to hear.

Then a smile and an open expression will open the floodgates. Even just s nice here isn't it will work.

If you are actually thinking about ohh, have we run out of conversation again, it will put people off talking to you.

I hate small talk but usually get by with lots of questions about the other person - people (in general but not always by any means!) find it easy to talk about themselves and (hopefully) conversation starts to flow.

With the wedding - how do you know the bride and groom? is always a good starting point. For dinner - what do you think of this warm weather? . Do you have children is an easy one but can be awkward if the other person doesn't or isn't able to.