How do I say this nicely

[bottleofredplease]

I want to tell someone that the reason I'm not going to chat to them about some issues I'm having is because they have said in the past that they don't like needy people.
She is a very good friend but I have other friends who I'm more likely to chat to for this reason.
How do I say nicely 'thanks for your offer of someone to talk to but I don't think you want me to as you don't like this kind of stuff'

I'm not a great communicator

"I can't talk about it right now. Thanks for understanding." That way, if you decide this friend would have something supportive to offer, you can always go back to them later to confide.

I wouldn't say anything. I'd just not chat about that subject in future. Give a brief, polite answer if she brings it up.

By 'announcing' you don't want to talk about it, she'll think you're looking for attention.

She doesn't sound that nice though OP, are you sure she's really a friend?

Well, what is your real reason? Because you genuinely have other friends who would be a more appropriate/knowledgeable/sympathetic listening ear? Or because she has told you in the past that she doesn't like 'needy people'?

The latter sounds as if you are trying to punish her/force a reaction out of her, or get her to acknowledge that she was being harsh or critical in her earlier remark to you?

Anyway, why would you tell someone why you aren't talking to them about something? Does she keep bringing up your issue, or something? If she doesn't like people being needy, surely she wouldn't keep bringing up your problem?

Why do you have to tell her the reason? That would be making things more confrontational.

If she tries to talk to you about it just say you’re trying to keep a lid on it emotionally, but thanks and if I feel like spilling my guts at a later point I will let you know know.

You don’t owe her any more than that.

Thanks for the help. I would actually like to talk to her but am a bit unsure as she has said about people being needy in the past and her finding it off putting. I am not a needy person by the way and don't normally have issues, she is a good friend of 5 years but she realsised something was up and just said that she is here if I wanted a chat. Anyway I have replied to her kind offer

Thanks, I'm getting it sorted

All done, I think I overthink things, thanks again

Talking something through isn't the same as being needy though.

Needy people cling and attention seek. They constantly seek out sympathy and company and help for the sake of the attention. Its likely that your friend has somebody like that in her life, and was thinking of them when she mentioned needy people. Having a problem or difficult time you need to talk about for the first time in five years isn't anything to do with being needy and doesn't mean that she wouldn't be a good person to talk to (it doesn't mean she would be either though of course)!

No need to talk to her obviously.

"oh I don't want to talk about that now - trying focus on 'normal things. Thanks for understanding!"

Also.. I don't like needy people per se but I'm there is my friends want/need an emotional chat. Everyone is allowed to be be 'needy' sometimes!