Teens being teens or do I worry??

[AndOnAndOn]

I'd like some opinions please as I've not had teenagers before, mine are only little so I'll have all this to come......

I have a great relationship with my step daughter, and she confides in me about things she doesn't want to share with her parents. (Just o add, I do tell her Dad anything important). She's a good kid so this is never more than who she fancies, when she's fed up with a parent, or there is a rude line in a book she is reading.....until now.

She's becoming a teenager and things are changing a little bit. She recently had a sleepover at a friends house with a couple of others and she's told me they accessed a site online called Omeagle?

Apparently it matches you up with random people for anonymous chat. You can lie about your age and the first question they were asked is 'are you horny?'....

She said she didn't get too involved and it wasn't on her phone as she knew her parents would disapprove.

Part of me knows what I got up to as a teenager (way worse 😁) and I want to stay 'cool' in her eyes so she continues to feel she is able to share things with me- especially if her or her friends get in trouble.

Another part of me thinks this could be really bloody dangerous and if the tables were turned then I couldn't believe that another parent had not shared this with my SD's parents. I don't want these girls to end up a headline in tomorrow's paper.

I've obviously told her dad but neither of us know what to do for the best. I think this was a one off with her but she thinks her friend is on there more often. She did say how stupid it was as they are taught stranger danger from such a young age, she isn't daft. But she's also 13. Is this a common teen thing now?

I'm after your experiences and advice please....

I was a teenager a couple of years ago and we used it a lot - Omegle isn't necessarily designed to be sexual, however in my experience you got s lot of unsolicited nudity or sexual harassment - "take your top off" kind of thing. There's some weirdos on there. Of course there's also some harmless people but as she's only 13 I'd be advising her to stay off it. It's mainly older people using it anyway which is also a bit weird when you think about it.

She doesn't share things with you because you're cool, she shares because she knew she was out of her depth and she trusts you. I would contact the other girls' parents and the school (in a general, 'perhaps they need an assembly on this' way). I would tell her that you are doing this and why (to keep you safe, weirdos etc).

I would tighten up on internet use in your house. Do you check her phone? Do you know what all her apps do? I would check it all weekly and tell her why again. Additionally, the phone should go downstairs at night so she can't spend all night on her phone.

Nip this in the bud while she is cooperating. I think you are wise for not sweeping this under the carpet.

A friend introduced me to Omegle, didn’t stop to chat to anyone as I was curious but didn’t want to be on camera (I’m an adult btw). There were a few boys who it matched with, a group of something like 11 year old girls looking like they were having an American sleep over and a wanking man

Thanks for those replies so far, will have a chat with husband when he gets home.

Just a gentle nudge for anyone else as I would like some more opinions/experiences please. Thank you

I would take my daughter's phone away for this. She would know this is dangerous/something I wouldn't approve of

Actually, it's not really about disapproval. It's damn stupid and naive. She shouldn't have a phone

Anyone else?

I think I’d have a chat with her about how dangerous the internet can be, and how it’s impirtant she never gives away any part of her identity or whereabouts to anyone, no matter how genuine they seem.

I’d probably also show her that video that the parents of the teenager who was raped and murdered by an ‘online date’, released after her death. Was she called Kayleigh heyward?

I’d then explain that I would be talking to the school so they can hopefully impress upon the children in their care the dangers of online sites like this one (whilst keeping it all anonymous).

fettuccine I think schools do alot to educate about the dangers of the internet tbh. I think that we expect them to control this issue more than they are able to. My ddis 13 and she has had internet safety talks regularly since primary school. That's why I think it indicates a naivety that means she shouldn't have free access to a phone. Its not 'teens being teens' in my experience. None of my dds friendship group chat to people they don't know.if they are messaged by strangers on social media they ignore/block. It makes her vulnerable

I know a lot of people (including myself) who went on the Omegle site as a preteen/early teen just for a laugh at some of the stuff you'd find. I didn't even know it was still a thing!
A lot of us went on it and nothing bad happened.
My mum taught me a lot of internet safety so although I'd join in as a laugh, I was very aware not to have the webcam on, not to share any personal info etc.
I think it's harmless - teens thinking they're cool - so long as they're very aware of internet safety and the stuff that can happen.

andonsndon
I would suggest you have a look on some of the internet safety websites. Have a look at Think U Know and also the NSCC ones.
They have a parents section a well as sections for different ages of young person.
Rather age it is way too easy to get out of your depth on the internet with serious consequences.
Forget about being ' cool' she needs protecting.
The websites I mentioned show how to report incidents, what to look out for etc.teach her to stay safe.