Bonking and pregnancy - am I normal or is something missing?

[PaulHollywoodsSexGut]

Morning

Am in week 23 of pregnancy #3 and week 25 of not having had any shags with DH.

We have a very good, affectionate, intimate relationship and an excllellent division of domestic labour plus we both work flexibly and are equally hands on with DD (3) and DS (16mo).

An attempt at having sex was made at week 17 and it was a bit painful, plus a previously low lying placenta made the attempt too high risk for me.

Whilst my libido is still there; self pleasuring is back and to some extent my whole libido is, I feel I can’t get over the “hump” and am absolutely knackered every single time the opportunity arises to do it with DH.

I love him dearly and whilst we have never had any sex problems before and he’s not complaining I’m aware it’s a very key part of any loving relationship.

I just feel I could get to week 40 and beyond with nary a bonk in sight....and I’d be fine.

Is it normal to just 100% go off sex in pregnancy?

Please someone answer! The embarrassment of posting is hard enough

I did it came back with a vengeance around 30 weeks 😂

31 weeks here and completely gone off sex! I have been accommodating of DH and like the intimacy but I am completely not interested!

It’s like my mind is there but my body’s not.

And this is the first pregnancy I’ve got the “there’s a baby in there, this is weird” feeling.

Why now? Urgh.

I'm 37+1 and I've had literally no sex drive my whole pregnancy. We've had sex once since about 14 weeks. In the last few weeks my libido is definitely M back in terms of taking care of myself, but I cant face the idea of actual sex with my partner. I love him and still fancy him, I just don't want to be touched. The taking care of myself is more just a means to an end ha.

I hate having sex pregnant. Hate it. I can’t bare being touched. I’m 10 weeks pg again and I am get away with it in the first trimester because I fell so ill. But I know dh finds it a strain and I do understand the frustration because I do want to have sex, just can’t get past the baby being in there it’s weird feeling

What number baby is this @Shookethtothecore

Everytime we had sex when I was pg with DS1 I bled and it was so bloody stressful.

4 weeks now with (hopefully) DC2 and can't imagine being up for it much.

It takes A LOT for us to get pregnant though (think £thousands and many painful and invasive medical procedures), so luckily DH feels the same 🙈

I'm gone off it too. Think it's just the logistics of the whole thing. On another point, how can you be 22 weeks pregnant but not have had sex for 24 weeks?

@paulhollywood 3. So obviously we are ok with it when I’m not pregnant 😂
I was exactly the same on all 3

Sex drive is still there, but sex probably has the appeal and seduction of moving a couch for DH as due to my size the technique is rather similar.

Because the last time I had sex I got pregnant @blackboot2 and don’t they do the funny +2 week adjustment to get your due date?

Either way it just seems like an eternity ago and I’m bothered but not bothered at the same time. I just wish I could read the mind of DH to see his botheredness levels as he’s been exceptionally chill about it all.

They do add 2 weeks, but that means you had sex 2 weeks into your pregnancy. So if you're 22 weeks you had sex to get pregnant 20 weeks ago. But not picky, you just did the sum the wrong way round. Either way it's a long time without sex!

I was off sex whilst I was feeling icky and had morning sickness however from around 18 weeks I’m like a randy teenager. Especially lately I’m wanting it multiple times a day. Obviously can’t with OH is at work so usually just you know DIY it lol 😆 some people loose their libido and others don’t during pregnancy either way it’s fine and perfectly natural 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not at all during pregnancy and for a while after.

Nearly 23 weeks with dc3 and initially couldn't think of anything worse, then the problem was a toddler between us, that's sorted now and it's still few and far between and can be a bit painful..
I know as I get bigger he won't want to (like before) he finds it a bit weird 🙄
It's not the be all and end all at the moment, as long as everything else is ok..

I'm 25 weeks now and have literally just got my sex drive back. I've had hyperemesis and couldn't think of anything worse than having sex while I was vomiting multiple times a day. My husbands really understanding but weirdly finds me very attractive while I'm pregnant - I just feel like a whale! The last week or so we've started to be intimate again, not always full sex but it's been really nice to feel closer again.

Could outercourse be an option for you both? (oral/hand stuff?) or is it just any sexual contact that you don't want? I prefer that anyway because you can sit/lie in a much more comfortable position haha

I hear you @Raspberrybubblegum

I think I will have to to have “the chat” to say “if you wouldn’t mind I could really do with you going DOWN THERE as I quite fancy it but can give no guarantee of wanting to do anything after I’M done”

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut I don't blame you! I think being pregnant is the one time you can get away with that as well haha! Could make an IOU coupon?

Lost my sex drive whilst pregnant. Still not come back and DD is 16 months 🙄

Was very careful in first pregnancy as had had two miscarriages, but with second could not get enough from about 30 weeks onward! Just loved it!

I’m living in hope for the magic 30 week mark. That’s the second time it’s beem mentioned @proseccoagain so maybe a springtime bonkfest might suddenly grip DH and I.

Doesn’t help that this winter has brought never ending colds to this house making me feel as sexy as a fat horse.