Would you have misgivings about this sleepover?

[Navratilover]

Dd is 13. In September, she started at a new school and has made 3 good friends - 2 girls and a boy. I have (briefly) met the 2 girls but not the boy - so far, they have only socialised at school, plus 2 days in the holidays when they met up in town and went for coffee etc. I don't know any of the parents and they don't know me.

Dd has a friend from her former school, whom I know well. On the occasions that dd met her new friends in town, she took this old friend with her.

Now there is a plan afoot that they all go for a sleepover at Old Friend's house.

My misgivings are these:

1. It is a mixed sex group - not necessarily a problem, but, as I say, I have never met the boy.
2. Old friend's mum (the only adult in the house) takes medications that mean she is fast asleep by 9 in the evening, so adult supervision will be minimal.
3. Old Friend's brother (12) is extremely volatile. In the past month, the police have been called to deal with his violence and he has threatened Old Friend with a knife. Social services are involved.
4. There have been issues last year with dd getting involved in inappropriate stuff (internet related) at a sleepover (not with Old Friend though) - this has made me nervous of sleepovers in general.

I like Old Friend and want dd to have a social life with her new friends, but I'm worried - apart from anything more major - that something might happen at this sleepover to cause her new friends' parents to veto any further socialising.

For now I'm waiting to see if other parents say yes to this. I'm hoping they won't and it will come to nothing. But if they do?

Didn't see a problem with points one and two but her brother being violent is a worry.
Have the sleepover at yours. Problem solved.

Nope, it would definitely be a no from me.

I think offering to have the sleepover here would be better - though no idea where I'd put them all! Will suggest that though. She just threw the prospect at me before disappearing to bed, so we haven't really had a chance to discuss it yet.

Definitely a no from me.

It would be a no from me too. You could offer to host yourself maybe.

And I disagree with cushioncuddle re point 2. It is totally inappropriate of a parent to host a sleepover with 4 children when said parent is on medication which causes her to be asleep by 9pm.

I’d say no too. The brother and mother would be a problem. My daughter had a really horrible experience after she snuck out of a friends house because the mum had fallen asleep on the sofa. I’m so cautious now, I feel I need to be. If you can have it at yours, great. If not I’d let her miss out.

I'd also say no to that plan, but I would offer to host if you can, then it's a compromise and not a no.

It does sound a bit like they've planned this all out without actually checking with the other mum though? Who would agree to have three teenagers they barely know (and one that they do) stay over when they have SS involved, a violent 12 year old and will be unconscious from 9pm?!

NuffSaid, unfortunately I'm pretty sure Old Friend's mum would agree for a quiet life. I'm going to offer that they come here instead though .