Best ways you've found out of depression?

[millionaireshortie]

I'm overeating, lethargic, crying for short periods every other day, unmotivated, low self esteem, low confidence. Has gradually got worse over the course of winter as it always does.

Can I ask for your best ways out of depression?

I've ordered 5htp to try

Have upped my exercise - short weight routines, long walks, couple classes at the gym.

Increasing the amount of protein I'm eating

trying to avoid sugar

Feeling out of control around food is very frustrating - it seems to have a relaxing, soothing affect on my brain so I keep reaching for it.

Nothing at all is working. I seem to be focusing a lot on how I look - looks have deteriorated a lot in the last couple years (10 pound weight gain, tired from young kids, general ageing) and I've totally lost why sparkle I had.

Any tips grateful received! Really really struggling now. Want to avoid taking long term medication for a number of reasons.

Posting to read later.

I have felt like you, its SAD (Seasonal effective Disorder) and no matter how long I spend outdoors or used 5 htp nothing worked, I bought this:
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B073P2WNDS/ref=asc_df_B073P2WNDS58574554/?hvlocphy=9046578&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=309947835748&creative=22110&hvpone&hvlocint&creativeASIN=B073P2WNDS&th=1&hvpos=1o1&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforum-21&hvtargid=pla-627887708157&hvrand=17355872170945556676

And felt a huge difference within days and I reallynotice when I don't use it enough. You need to use it 20cm away for a minimum of 30 mins a day. This website was really useful top and even though spring is coming, I'll still need to use it as I work indoors a lot.

Vitamin D may help if you primarily suffer in winter. A short sun holiday, even for a weekend might help too, but I appreciate that might not be affordable.

In terms of counselling, I’d recommend reading up on various therapies to help you work out what didn’t work for you and why. Sometimes we just can’t gel with the individual but sometimes the approach is the problem.

I wanted a “fix” rather than a chat and sought out an NLP approach which was very effective in some ways. I learned how to generate a good feeling within, and it helped enormously to scramble the suicide ideation.

However, I’ve settled well with a holistic therapist who uses Karl Rodgers approach and I’ve become much more comfortable with myself and more attuned to the subtle shifts in me.

I used to eat for comfort too, and I still do but I do it deliberately and mindfully, considering what I’m craving. By taking a moment to think about what I want I’ve discovered a whole range of other comforts too like snuggling with a hot water bottle, reading wrapped up in a blanket, walking barefoot in the garden feeling grass between my toes, going for a nap, having a cry.

I try to take the approach that this is what my body needs right now, rather than I shouldn’t feel like this

Conversely though, I have a stash of distractions too. Books are great for taking over your thoughts and mood. Podcasts as a op mentioned. I have to be very careful with music, news and social media.

I’m not sure that this will make sense exactly but I’ve learned to take my feelings seriously but distrust the noisy thoughts that come with them. I tend to think ^I’m so lonely...I’ll always be lonely....I’ll never be loved...I’m too ugly to love....I’m crap at everything....I’m a terrible person....I’m a failure...” in a sort of background chorus. Most of it is not true or relevant. I don’t know why my brain produces this nonsense. When I’m feeling low instead of tuning in to these thoughts I dwell on what my body feels (anxiety is often a pain in my stomach, a tightness in my chest, a heaviness in my shoulders) and check if there’s something that triggered it, or something that I’m longing for or craving.

These strategies have worked well for me, With relatively mild symptoms. But the deeper you fall the harder it is to generate any traction at all and medication can, at a minimum, get You back to ground level.

Exercise, but specifically cardio that gets my heart rate right up. This is the most effective.

A gratitude list/diary. Making myself think of three things I'm grateful for every day.

Routine.

Being kind to myself. Sometimes I fail at all these things and just overeat and feel miserable. But I find things I HAVE done and congratulate myself. Sounds cheesy but it works.

This is the first winter that I haven’t slipped into depression and the only thing that’s changed is vitamin D. High dose.

I can be insular and very unsociable so
I make myself go for a daily walk. Sometimes I listen to a podcast (or more recently the Desert Island disc archive) and simply walk for at least 20 minutes, but generally about 40 mins. We have a couple of parks nearby and there are usually dog walkers about. I have found them all a friendly bunch who always acknowledge you and say hello. So I make myself say hello to at least 2 of them.
Their dogs are always keen for a fuss or at least seem pleased to see you!
As the depression begins to lessen, I find myself walking more briskly and my posture improves. Added bonus is I am a bit fitter and a bit lighter.

I also avoid the fun sponges in my life.

Fresh air, walking, planning small things that I enjoy (meeting friends for coffee or whatever). Getting stuff done helped, so I looked around me at things that were annoying me and wrote lists of what needed doing and just stuck to the plan no matter what. My list was full of small home improvements/sorting stuff out that bothered me but it could be anything, it's the sense of having something to aim for and tick off that is satisfying. I also bought some cognitive therapy self help books which were really useful, but I suspect you can access this sort of therapy online or in apps these days.

Anti depressants were the only help for me. Then, waiting it out for several years. I don't think you can cure depression with walks, exercise etc but I suppose they can help a tiny tiny tiny bit. I don't understand not taking them for fear of putting on weight. That's not the desperation of depression to me.....

Medication.
Realising I don't have to hold myself to someone else's unrealistic high standard.
Being honest with my family about how I'm feeling.
Concentrating my efforts on things I can do and not what I can't.
Definitely medication. I'm on sertraline and for me it's made a massive difference. I'm not depressed due to external factors, I'm depressed because something in my brain isn't working as it should. Plenty of people need medicine because different bits of them don't function correctly. Just because it's something in my brain doesn't make it any different.

Well the Nice guidelines are anti-d's combined with therapy - so with all my clients (I'm a therapist) I explore why they don't want to take them.

Second to that I think everyone has a 'key' to life, an individual plan they need to keep their mental health in good condition. Different for everyone.

Through trial and error we work out what works for them - the list of suggestions I have is very long (many of them appear above).

The last thing I would say is that 'down days/down a couple of days' is normal and experienced by the vast majority of people.
And I always talk about self nurture, self care when they're experiencing them.

Good luck

@UnperfectLife

I have never not taken ADs for fear of weight gain but I have come off them too fast because of gaining it. I think it's quite common for people to have Eating disorders as well as depression. There are people who would rather be dead than fat.

You can get lights for SAD and short bursts on the sun bed help some people

If it is depression and not feeling blue, then you really need to see your GP and have a course of medication.

There is no shame in this-it is just something to help you through, just like someone who has twisted their ankle would use a walking stick.

@UnperfectLife you might not understand it, but that's my reality. Ive had bulimia for the past 24 years and body dysmorphic disorder too. So please don't imply I'm not desperately depressed because my fear of gaining weight seems trivial to you.

Divorce. Exercise. Being truly loved by a decent man. Time passing. Less booze.

What's going on in your life OP? You sound overwhelmed and exhausted. It's possible you need something as simple as rest. Simple yet impossible with small children unfortunately...

Medication.

Exercise, healthy eating etc are all needed as well, medication doesn’t solve anything but it can help.

For me, low-dose antidepressants, writing stuff down when I was feeling overwhelmed, being outdoors, listening to podcasts and accepting that it was ok to feel like that sometimes and believing it would pass. The turning point though was when I started to do things to improve my self esteem. In my case it was being brave and getting involved in things that were helping other people. From there, I was able to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and then suddenly, things seemed much easier and clearer. for you and everyone else struggling.

Also, forgot to add, it's so important to do things that bring you joy and not to lose yourself in being a wife and a mother. I know how hard this is, I have 5 DC. When I started to prioritise myself again though, I realised how much I'd let slip away. I've redressed the balance now and will never let that happen again.

I'm a big fan of counselling too.

Cutting out alcohol. Exercise. Tramadol, which has an SSRI-like effect. You have to have fucked joints to get it though. CBT helped with the rage.
Look for the everyday bonus. Today's was low sunshine lighting up the Tyne valley as I came past Haltwhistle.