Homework nightmares

[PinotAndPlaydough]

I am reaching the end of my tether with my 7yo DD and her homework.

Every single time we have to do anything she kicks up such a fuss. The work itself is messy and rushed and I know she can do better.
I’ve told her it’s fine to make mistakes and get things wrong and that’s how we learn but we always have to try our hardest even if we don’t really enjoy what we are doing.
The fact is as she gets older there will be more homework, she’s very lucky that her school don’t actually give much.

This half term she has to keep a diary on what she does each day. We went and chose a scrap book and stickers together, I’ve tried to make it fun and it shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes a day. Today it’s been a 20 minute battle of her sitting there saying she doesn’t remember what we did or she did nothing. If I step back and leave her to it she cries and says she needs my help. The work she has produced is so messy and slapdashi it’s barrlt legible.

For full disclosure she does have some SEN, high functioning asd, Hypermobility and proprioception issues (and possible dyslexia) being the main one. She has aids to help with these which in theory should make writing easier and more comfortable. Part of me thinks that the behaviour is more to do with her being a bit lazy and just not wanting to do it because she would rather play. I get that she’s only 7 and I don’t really think homework at this age is great but in real life we have to do things we don’t like and she needs to learn to deal with that.

Am I just being a bitch about this, I’m so tired of daily fights. I just want the best for her, life is going to be hard enough as it is and she’s going to have to work harder than others to achieve her goals. I just feel a bit of effort and grit on her part would go a long way to helping herself, maybe I’m expecting too much?

I always told dd that I would not fight with her about homework, but I did just expect her to write a short note to the teacher explaining why it hasn't been done. I refused to write said note as it wasn't my idea not to do it. Her enthusiasm to please her teacher usually got the task completed most of the time.

Maybe try letting her type the diary in Word or use PPT or Prezzi and put pictures in it etc?

I homeschool my children. Currently my stepdaughter has fifty minutes of homework each week so she is kept busy. Mainly I give her a English worksheet to do. One day a week I make up a list of math questions for her to answer. She also gets the occasional spelling exercise and a geography assignment.
And I’m considering adding history to the mix. I plan on doing the same with my twins. Maybe consider homeschooling her if this is going to continue.

I always told dd that I would not fight with her about homework, but I did just expect her to write a short note to the teacher explaining why it hasn't been done. I refused to write said note as it wasn't my idea not to do it. Her enthusiasm to please her teacher usually got the task completed most of the time.

I do this as well. I say right if you're not going to do it don't do it but you can tell Mrs x why you haven't done it. The thought of having to do this fills her with dread so she does it.

But to make it easier for everyone I choose a time when she's not hungry or tired. I also give her advance warning so I haven't sprung it in her.

Good luck!

I have similar issues. What helps is

• homework on a full stomach
• a box under the feet while handwriting
• we decide what to write, I write it out and then he copies it in his neat handwriting. He’s just not able to compose and be neat but we’re working on that.
• make a plan (what do you need? Copy check/ pencil check/ rubber check. How many sentences do we have to write? What’s the subject? Ok let’s go)
• do a review ( I praise a couple of specific things and then we check for capitals/full stops. He decides if he’s satisfied and wants to do more)
• a great consistent teacher who corrects daily and gives feedback. Other teachers haven’t and it’s an absolute nightmare because he knows it doesn’t matter.
• I make it clear that we don’t have to do it and I’ll write a note to teacher explaining that we ran out of time. I’m fully prepared to do this but he hasn’t accepted yet.

It’s still a really hard slog. I think with the handwriting he’s realized that I’m actually helping him not just nagging or forcing him to do boring things.
Breaking down the self management piece helps too as he actually struggles a lot with that. We plan-do-review everything and I try to notice and praise him writing down all his homework/ remembering to bring home all his books/ packing away at the end even though that’s all stuff I can take for granted with his younger sister.

I really feel for you with midterm homework. I think that would break me. I need time off too.

My year 1 DS has similar but possibly less severe problems - hypermobility, maybe dyspraxia or dyslexia yet undiagnosed. We decided a month ago to stop making homework a battle ground. Things that have helped...
-do homework straight after breakfast. Set expectation as to when it will be done so it's not a surprise.

• check with teacher how long it should take and stick to that.
• as PP says, start with making a plan, leave them to it as much as possible (I go and make a cup of tea across the room and take my time at it), then when they say they are done go through it and ask them to say 2 or 3 good things about it (nicely formed letters, good choice of adjective, neat writing, anything at all) and 1 thing they would do better next time.

Leaving him to it works well, he seems a lot prouder of his work. Then I translate any unreadable words, and write that he did it independently.

Thank you all, I have said about sending a note to the teacher the problem is she’ll do it it’s just the lack of effort.
I think making a plan is a good idea and probably steppingback for both our sakes!

I could have written your post. Same issues here with DS 8, also HF ASD. The upset and fussing about doing the homework takes longer than the actual task itself. He doesn’t like to write and therefore does it quickly with mistakes, and he then feels he is ‘criticised’ if you try and help, which causes more upset. His writing is messy and hard to read. He is actually pretty bright but sees no connection between putting in effort and success, and seems puzzled that other people in his class are on higher levels. Knowing expectations has helped a bit but I am floundering. I’m exceptionally worried about his work at school and have another appointment after half term.