Can I just have some support before I totally lose my shit

[thinkingcapon]

This thread has been done to death
I'm bored of my own chat but don't have anyone to share this with in real life
My 2.5 year old has become a fucking ridiculously early riser
This am was 3.08......awake for the day from then
The day before was 0418
I've tried EVERYTHING from 3 different sleep consultants , all of them have totally differing opinions!!!
Please someone tell me I can get through this x

Mine have all dropped their nap way before the age of two. He’s probably just not tired.

Why don’t you try powering him through till 5pm tomorrow, whatever it takes, then gradually moving it by half an hour until bedtime is a normal time and hopefully wake up will be too.

Try food, walking in the fresh air, reading, telly, anything to keep him awake.

Look, I was just making the point that I think the nap needs to go and bedtime will need to be earlier for a while as a consequence of that, I wasn't saying get the child into bed at 4pm on the dot.

@JaniceBattersby puts it better than I did. Drop the nap!!

Thanks all x

If the sleep nanny says it's because he's got a wedgie or a fly in his room I may never ever have sex again

3 am is night time.if he wakes u stay in the room with him(on a materass or smt) and lie down and try to snooze.no food, no conversation, nothing.if he needs toilet go in the dark and straight back to the room.might not work first day or two but it will.

Get a large enough bed that you can lie in there too. I had the rule that DS had to spend the night in his bed. So I would take him back, pin him down and spend the rest of the night with him. No talking, just a grumpy "it's night time, go to sleep" or asking him to help also worked "Mummy needs to sleep, and needs you to be quiet" kind of thing.

Sooo feel for you. My DS used to wake v early and it nearly killed me. One morning I went into the kitchen and smashed some bowls just to vent my upset. Thought better to let the bowls have it than DS!

We did hardcore routine and consistency with our chosen sleep training approach but even then it was painfully slow.

Then at 3 he suddenly reverted and started waking at 4am. Sleep coach advised us that's s classic sign of needing to drop the lunchtime nap.

If you do try dropping the 11am nap, I'd advise from my experience to try cutting it down gradually. Ie wake him just ten mins earlier than his usual nap length and do that for at least 3 days before reducing by another ten mins. And hold his bedtime steady at 7pm, don't bring it earlier because his body clock needs to re-establish itself so the extra sleep is made up at 3am onwards.

Hang in there mate

The real trouble here is that all kids are different, what works for some won't work for the others. In the same vein, the recommended advice won't work for some kids,while all the big no-nos work for some kids.
Like some kids need the routine of a bath,others go hyper because of the bath.
Some kids become overstimulated by screens, others happily dose off after some chill cartoon/video/music.
Some kids sleep perfectly well by cosleeping,some won't.
The list goes on.
The really shitty thing is that no one can tell you for sure what kind of kid you have.

My 2.9 year old is doing this. DS2, think DS1 did it too.

I think it's related to dropping the final nap; he can't quite go the whole day without a nap so he nods off at teatime.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFANzZTdYM

Terribly dark but got me through some awful nights. The lullaby is for you,not him.

I suspect by now he's just really overtired, from the early mornings.

A 3am waking is really a night waking - and mine would be awake for a couple of hours at that time. Eventually I realised that after 90 minutes if I resettled them at that point they would just about go back off - but normally only for another sleep cycle - so an hour or so.

You need to get the overtiredness under control - either by long naps for a few days or some really early bedtimes for a few days. (It sounds counterintuitive but needs to be done imo).

Once the overtiredness is tackled - if he no longer needs a full nap to get him through the day, shorten it to a power nap. I have to say though, it can be a nightmare to wake them!

Both of mine were early wakers (at 8 DS2 is still up at 5.30am) but that also comes with the potential of being really overtired by a "normal" bedtime - so getting the timings right and avoiding being overtired is key.

Again DS2 will still wake up even earlier (or suffer from nightmares) if he goes to bed "late". I think the very early risers don't have the residual sleep to tide them over.

You have my sympathy - it is horrendous!

Gro clocks when they know there colors are useful.
My pair at 10 still wake up at 6:15, some kids are just early risers but I did find the clocks helpful in the it's still night conversations.
Good luck

OP I feel your pain. DS2 is 28 months and on Tuesday morning we were treated to the delights of 2am waking! It's usually 4am which feels like a bastard lie in after the 2am debacle. Best bit is he waits until my husband is away with work for the first night of a whole week!
I have read your thread and what you have said about the nap but the only thing that has worked for us since "2am gate" is cutting his nap out. He has fallen asleep in the car, had a little doze, no more than 15 mins and not a full on nap since the beginning of the week and has consistently slept through to 5.30-6.00! and on one night until 6 bloody 30!
I swear if he'd been m first child I wouldn't have had any more. Luckily DS1 would sleep through anything. Best of luck. I know how soul destroying it is when you hear that noise in the middle of the night and you daren't look at the clock.........

Oh and don't think about trying to "solve" the issue now. You sound exhausted, so go for whatever will get you the most sleep. Then tackle it when you feel up to it. I have a very clear memory of moving the cot next to the sofa, not daring to take DS out because I was so tired, putting my hand through the bars and falling asleep whilst he screamed at me. I have no idea how long he lasted before he slept! When I woke he was doing that sobbing in his sleep thing. Was much easier when he was in a proper bed.

3am isn't an early get up - it's the middle of the night! I would treat it like night time - all lights stay off and just keep putting him back exactly the same as you would at 1am. 5am is still horrid but 3 is just ridiculous.

I feel for you. I really do at least you still have your sense of humour !!

We had ridiculously early risers (2 at the same time) and decided that if we couldn't beat them we would join them. We used to go to bed at 7.30 (not long after they went to bed)

It took a few days to get into the new routine (but like jet lag) but it worked for us. We managed to get semi reasonable chunks of sleep and if they both woke up at 4 we could (almost) cope.

Ds1 now sleeps in as late as possible

Ds2 doesn't and he's awake at 6/6.30 every day but a) He doesn't disturb us and b) I'm an early riser too so it doesn't bother me

Good grief I have found my people! Our 3yo is the same. Christmas seemed to set something off in him he's gone from 11 hours straight through to waking at 1/3/4/5am. It's like an alarm goes off in his head!

We have moved him into a single bed and now he's still waking several times but after weeks of persevering will settle quickly once we do silent return. If it's 3am onwards though he won't settle so I now get straight into bed with him silently and either drop off too, or wait until he's fully asleep and sneak back out.

We got so mad about it, have argued about how to approach it, but now we've kind of accepted it and have a plan that's sort of working everyone's much calmer. Little dude slept till 6 this morning after a couple of silent returns. Unheard of!

We also go to bed very early. Just can't function otherwise. Also we've gone from lying awake waiting for him to get up again, to settling back to sleep ourselves pretty quickly.

Having read about people dropping naps I'm going to try that this week. He seems to love his nap though.
Hang in there OP.

Hugs sleep deprivation is utter torture, loads of advice on here but just do what ever works for you now to survive as a team with your partner. Each month the child is different so maybe something else will work.. My first DD was a wide awake 2-3hrs every night & early riser, for most of 4.5yrs nearly broke me and my DH, we tried everything including sleeping on her bedroom floor for the best part of 2yrs just to survive. If I had that time again I’d just put a basic bed (camping mat)for the child on the floor next to my bed not us sleep on her floor.. school finally wore her out mentally & sport physically, she’s now a lovely 11yr old still full of energy loads of competitive sport and after school activities work for her. Our 2nd DD completely different child we put her to bed and she slept we were WTF same parenting just very different child who slept! So be kind to yourself, survive and it will eventually get easier

Huge sympathies for you. My youngest was a fucking nightmare sleeper from birth (note I say my last child, if she had been our first she would have been our only). She didn't sleep through until over 3 and has always been a stupidly early riser. It's just her body clock, she can't sleep past 6, luckily she is now at an age where she can get her own breakfast and entertain herself. Sleep deprivation is a special form of torture, I would have told anyone anything they wanted for a bit of sleep!

Thanks everyone.

He had 35 mins sleep yesterday then an almost 3 hour awake time from 1am consisting of a mammoth clapathon and singalong

Slept until 0640 .....whoop de doo

I found wine extremely helpful.

I think that's why I'm struggling so much as I don't drink or smoke!!

Could you all do me a massive favour and have a drink on me please today, many thanks!

Omg you poor woman. We had a spell of it with DS and the only thing that worked was dropping the nap and letting him co-sleep. I

I would've paid anyone anything for an hours sleep because without it you can't make a plan and follow it and your temper gets so short.

Tim Minchin has it spot on in that song, especially the escalation and back to wired out fake-calm.

We had same problem and the only thing that worked was staying g awake with DS till 10.30 in the evening and feeding him a huge bowl of porridge just before he goes to bed. He used to sleep 10.30-8.00 straight. He is 9 and now sleeps 9.30 till 7.30, I feel guilty because he does not sleep enough, but he was always this way, stopped his lunchtime naps before age 3. It was a choice between going to bed late or losing our minds.

I remember this well. So grim. Keep chanting “this too will pass” through gritted teeth.

2.5 might be too young to get this but I used to put a little pot of smarties (out of reach!) in my DD’s room. Everytime I had to go into her room through the night I would eat one in front of her. In the morning she could eat whatever was left. She soon caught on to it, and wouldn’t call out so she’d get the lot.