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Original poster

Would you return these items?

21 replies

ProjectGainsborough · 18/02/2019 10:23

DS (9) is working up to being able to walk to school by himself. It’s something his friends are doing and he really wants to be allowed to go with them.

Today I let him go to the shop to pick up 2 things - olive oil, and I said he could get doughnuts as a treat.

He’s come back with the olive oil and .... a bag full of random chocolate and treats. He spent all of the money I gave him.

I am so cross. I’ve talked to him about the impact of not being able to trust him to do what he says on his plans for walking to school.

Would I look like a madwoman if I made him come with me to return all of the sugary crap? I feel like I need this lesson to stick!

OP posts:

pippistrelle · 18/02/2019 10:28

Possibly a little bit mad, I think.

And unless you're sending him home from school via the shops, then I don't think there's a clear link with walking to or home from school by himself. Focus on road safety rather than predilection for sweets.

Sirzy · 18/02/2019 10:28

Yes that would be unreasonable

Just put them away and let them be eaten overtime.

He won’t be the first or last child to get over excited by freedom and money in a sweatshop!

viccat · 18/02/2019 10:32

I don't think shops take food items back anyway?

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Original poster

ProjectGainsborough · 18/02/2019 10:36

Oh ok, maybe I am BU. Having a little cup of tea and a calm down.

I suppose it’s just a trust/maturity thing. If he thinks it’s fine to spend all of my money on crap will he also think it’s ok not to come straight home after school?

OP posts:

Original poster

ProjectGainsborough · 18/02/2019 10:38

Also he bought ferrero rocher. I’d be happier if he’d come back with treats I actually enjoy

OP posts:

Tomtontom · 18/02/2019 10:41

You said he could buy some crap (doughnuts) so he bought some alternative crap.

Hardly the crime of the century!

SlowDown76mph · 18/02/2019 10:53

Did he know that you expected change..?

Original poster

ProjectGainsborough · 18/02/2019 11:30

The allowed crap was specifically doughnuts though. He bought £10 of chocolatey crap. Yeah, he knew he was supposed the bring change.

It’s fine. I am calm. I can probably give the ferrero rocher away to someone I don’t like.

OP posts:

SpoonBlender · 18/02/2019 11:30

Were you clear? "Olive oil, doughnuts, and the change back"? Sounds like he's extrapolated from "Olive oil and doughnuts or whatever". If what you instructed him was more like the latter, you have only yourself to blame I'm afraid. He's 9, doesn't do shopping generally and has no background in it, can't read your mind, and doesn't really know the value of money.

SpoonBlender · 18/02/2019 11:31

Xpost - yes, he was a cheeky fucker!

SpoonBlender · 18/02/2019 11:32

Ferrero Rocher are much nicer than you may remember. I don't know when this happened, maybe it's just in comparison to the recent shitshow with Cadbury's et al, but it's worth trying one!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 18/02/2019 11:36

I love ferrero rocher.

He owes you however much change he should have given you now, and as he didn't buy doughnuts, he doesn't have a treat and he's less trusted than he was. I think that's a lesson enough.

BarbaraofSevillle · 18/02/2019 11:36

£10 He must know that's a ridiculous amount to spend on chocolatey crap 'just because'. Make sure he knows he must not do it again. What if you'd needed that money to buy actual food for the rest of the week?

But I agree with Spoon. FR are one of the few mass market chocolates that are actually nice.

Monday55 · 18/02/2019 11:46

With kids at this age you do need to be precise. You could say spend a £1 on whatever you like and bring back the change.

thedogattacksthetissuebox · 18/02/2019 11:49

Sounds like something my ds would do. The temptation is too much !

ems137 · 18/02/2019 11:59

Oh my DS has done exactly the same a little while ago. I sent him to the shop for a couple of things and said to get a bar of chocolate or some sweets. This is something he's done many times before. Except this time he decided to buy a big multipack of cans of coke for £7 for himself 😡

BikeRunSki · 18/02/2019 12:02

If this was an exercise in trust, I think your DS has just proven that he can’t be trusted.

PinkHeart5914 · 18/02/2019 12:08

His 9, sometimes children just don’t think. Adults fuck up often enough so of course dc so too.

With dc I find it’s beter to be clear like saying “ Buy olive oil for me and you can have £2 to spend as you wish on sweets”

I wouldn’t be mad, I wouldn’t try and take the stuff back ( not sure they’d even take food back) I would however have a chat with him and explain why I was annoyed and why he shouldn’t of done it, then I’d move on with the day

keepingbees · 18/02/2019 12:09

He's only 9. Kid in a sweet shop comes to mind.
Yes you're right to be annoyed, yes he needs to learn. But he's still very young. My 13 year old would probably have done, and has done, similar (and yes he needs to learn too.)

Original poster

ProjectGainsborough · 18/02/2019 12:10

I was so precise. Olive oil, doughnuts and nothing else.

He was very apologetic but at the same time, nothing goes in and it will be something else tomorrow.

OP posts:

AcaiSmoothie · 18/02/2019 12:19

I send my 9yo to the shop, I usually try to give him a specific amount eg. £2 for bread and milk and £1 for himself.

If I was sending him with £10 and expecting change I would be specific that I wanted X amount of change and he could by Y amount of donuts/ crisps etc.

I do try not to send him with alot more than he needs though as I would be cross if he lost it or majorly overspent. He's only a kid, lesson learned.

I'd let him walk to school with his pals if the route is safe.

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