FIL died and this “friend” (quotation marks because this and a few other things she’s done have made me question our friendship and her as a person), used to be friends with DH’s close relative. They fell out but I’m fine with the relative in question. Anyway. When I told “friend” that FIL has passed away, she said that she hoped relative wasn’t going to try and be pally with me at the funeral, and made some other not nice remarks. I was pretty gobsmacked, given that a) I never fell out with the relative, she did and b) I’m not childish enough to not speak to my soon to be relative-in-law because my “friend” has fallen out with them. It felt a really weird and possessive insensitive thing to say to me. I didn’t want to be too blunt with her and make her feel bad for what she said so I gently answered her with something along the lines that DF is really close to his relatives (tight knit fam) and that I don’t have a problem with relative anyway. “Friend” completely ignored this and changed the subject.
At FIL’s funeral, relative came to speak to us and gave us a cuddle, and all was fine. Relative is lovely by the way hasn’t a bad word to say about anyone. DH and I decided to get married sooner as we were so shocked by FIL dying that we just felt life is too short and we booked everything for three weeks ahead of time. We hadn’t booked anything for our original date, just had told one or two people (including “friend” the proposed date. I chose not to tell “friend” about new wedding date. I felt this was the right decision, as I was quite frankly appalled at what she had said about relative and as the family were still grieving, i felt it was important to ensure anyone there was respectful and harmonious and wouldn’t cause any upset. “Friend” has serious anger issues and a terrible temper so I was honestly scared to tell her we had changed date and that it was just going to be family (we only had family and one or two friends - teeny tiny wedding). She found out anyway and wrote cryptic tweets which I suspected were about the fact I had changed the date and not said, but she waited til the day after the wedding to bombard me with angry texts demanding to know why I hadn’t invited her. She then went on to send me pretty awful and harassing messages from an account she thought I didn’t know she had. I think I made the right decision - what would you have done/would do?