Am I being unreasonable?

[Kiki789]

Hi ladies new here but needed some advice. So me and my husband have been together for 8 years and have been married for 2 of them years, we have a 10 month old daughter.
So we are both reserved with social media and don't advertise alot of our lives especially our daughter. Last night however my husband was taking pictures of the baby on snapchat and he started to smile at his phone, clearly he was having a conversation with someone, so I jokingly said who are you talking to and he replied a few people I did my course with so when I looked at his phone noticed it was a woman's name and said we'll who is that and he said someone I went to school with. Now what pissed me off was that he had sent our child's picture to this woman I didn't even know existed. I have no problem with him having females friends, in fact he does but i have been introduced or he has bought them up in conversation, I have never in the 8 years that I have been with him have heard of this so called school friend. It might just be innocent but it has really bugged me to the point I haven't spoken to him since last night. This morning he tried talking to me 2 separate occasions but i blew him off as I was still annoyed and since then he hasn't bothered.

I did ask him who is she and why have I not heard of her before if she's such a good friend your comfortable sending our child's picture to her but he said I was blowing it out of proportion.

I think I could be making a big deal out of nothing but this really angered me. Sorry I know I went on for a bit but would appreciate it to know if I was being unreasonable or not. Thanks x

Hmmmm. Maybe a little. That said, you're still well within your rights to know who your childs picture is being shared with. It doesn't sound like you're unreasonable as to who he is friends with, perhaps you just need a conversation around what you feel comfortable with him sharing...or not as the case may be.

I think once you have children with someone it makes you feel vulnerable as you're worried that another woman could take resources away from your offspring. Totally irrational, but completely understandable at the same time.

Not helpful I know, but gets you thinking

I think you’re being unreasonable to be in such a sulk over it. She is his daughter too. You need to actually have a conversation with him rather than snap and sulk.

Would you ask his permission before you sent a pic of his child to someone he doesn't know?
If yes then he needs to know your expectations - is this a conversation you have had? If no then yabu.

Sounds more like you are upset that he is being fsmiliar with a woman you don't know, this needs addressing.

Btw if it were my dh then no I wouldn't mind but each relationship is different, you need to communicate expectations and boundaries.

Thanks for the replies,
Yes I think a big aspect of this is due to the fact I don't know who this woman is. Me and my husband usually share everything including people who we still talk to even from school. He knows everyone I have communication with and I thought I knew everyone he did. Obviously I know you meet new people through work etc and he may of not mentioned them to me but for him to have had communication with someone from school and never mentioned the name makes me think was it an old girlfriend.
And yes friends of mine that my husband doesn't personally know, I have asked or mentioned sending a picture to them so he is aware who sees his child, I just would thought he would of given me the same courtesy back.
I agree I think I am making a mountain out of a molehill but just upsets me that he clearly hasn't shared everything with me the way I have.
BTW it's not a control obsessive thing we have always just been very open with each other.
I think I should address this without getting annoyed but it's so hard not to be lol. Thank you again ladies

You asked who he was talking to and he said “a few people”. But it wasn’t a few people, it was one woman? So he lied and obviously didn’t want to tell you who he was talking to. Big red flag.

If they’re so close that they’re messaging, how come you’ve never heard of her or met her? Does he message all his school friends?

Imo this reeks of an affair and I’d feel justified in snooping and reading their messages.

I think you're really over reacting. I don't get why regular non-celeb/politician/people of interest don't want people seeing their kids faces. No one is especially bothered anyway (though at such a young age it doesn't feel that way). What do you think the threat is exactly OP?