16 yr old wants to move out

[pollywolfff]

I know legally she can, she wants to move a few hours away to live with her boyfriend but she cant even rent a flat i dont think at that age? how do i get her to change her mind?

Bump

Easiest way is to sit her down and work through what needs to be done in order to live independently. It's a win-win - she'll either give up in horror, or be better prepared for reality.

Will she get a job there? How will she support herself otherwise?

Sit her down, go along with her plans but ask her how she intends to deal with the practicalities. I think, for example, that she has to be in some form of education or training until she is 17 - how will she arrange that, what will she do, how will she pay her share of the rent if she is in college, will her bf support them both financially etc?
How old is the boyfriend? What will he be doing?

I would also make it quite clear that if she proceeds with this plan, the bank of mum (and dad?) is closed.

Yep BIG dose of reality!

What kind of pay is she likely to get from a job without decent qualifications? Show her how much she'll ACTUALLY get by doing take home pay calculator on mse site

What is the job market even like where you are? (Some job sites show a counter of how many people have applied via the site for each job, when I was helping dd look where we are it was usually over 150 applications per job!)

How much are bills likely to be, what is rent, council tax, water, energy bills where you sw for property size she'd be in? Is it an expensive area to live? You could show her your bills too. She'll also have to pay for groceries, tv licence, Internet of course. Presumably she has a mobile phone - who pays for that? Is she used to having sky/Virgin/Netflix?

Train her/have her practice (if she doesn't do/can't already) cooking & cleaning: that includes:

meal planning and grocery shopping, how to shop on a budget, understanding use by and best before dates etc

Laundry - separating according to colour and fabric, stain removal, drying, ironing, folding & putting away

Hoovering & dusting - including skirting boards, door frames and hard to reach places

Doing the dishes (including burnt on food and cups she's left growing penicillin for weeks) & cleaning the kitchen including worktops properly, awkward to clean gadgets, sweeping and mopping the floor...

Cleaning the bathroom - including the toilet properly. Mopping floor etc keeping handwash topped up and clean hand towel always available, picking up discarded wet towels and putting in laundry.

Changing beds - including flipping mattresses

You could get a nice free deep clean out of this

She also wouldn't be eligible for benefits either so it's just whatever wage she and the boy wonder are bringing in

At £4.20 rising to £4.35 in April nmw even if 40 hours a week that's £168pw gross or £728 pcm £725pcm net take home

Based on where I live/my bills (very cheap part of country)

Rent 1 bed UNfurnished (so they'd have to buy ALL furnishings - go through Argos catalogue and add up what THAT will cost!) £300pcm minumum - but of course most won't take on a 16 year old

Council tax cheapest £93
Gas/electric 130 - prepay which she'll probably have to be as not old enough to enter a contract to have a credit account
Web 30 - again IF they were even willing to do contract
Tv licence 12.37
Groceries 200 - I'm on a tight budget that's for 2 adults both female - 16 year old boys tend to eat much more. Also is she fussy about food?
Phone - how much is her mobile? Mines an old phone and contract paid off so only £11pcm now - again she'd not be able to get a contract
Phone ins £12
Transport - I'm currently housebound but when I'm not it's easily at least £20 a week that's £86 pcm - will she need to pay for transport to work?
Netflix 7.99
Clothes - rarely buy, based on dds expenditure here (she works full time) at least £25 a week that's roughly £100 a month
Haircuts - I've found a good budget one, dd prefers a more trendy one, split the difference £30 every 6 weeks - £22 pcm

That's £1004.37 pcm

Even going halves with the boyfriend that's £502.18

That leaves £222.82pcm or £51.42 for everything else - toiletries, make up, hobbies, extra clothes, snacks & drinks outside the home, any extra transport, nights out...

As you and I know £50 doesn't go that far these days.

What sort of expenditure is she used to?