Do you think this is odd, if you’ve arranged a group meet up with mum friends from toddler days, and one of them wants to bring someone else, who no one knows ?

[Lardlizard]

All these he mums life in different areas bit not far, and all the kids in the group go to different schools

But this person wants to invite, someone they’ve just met through their child at school, so they don’t really even know then much yet

@Lardlizard I don’t think it’s weird as we don’t know what the other mum is going through. She might be having a really hard time and just need some more contact with people. She might be struggling to make friends and your friend has said “oh I know some lovely people who you would really get on well with”.
It’s hard to make friends as an adult, so be more welcoming!

Not weird, maybe the new person doesn’t have a group of friends, and the mutual friend is trying to help her find some?

We dont all live in the same area, all the children go to different schools, so it’s not like she’s new to the area etc

I agree it can change the dynamics a bit
And the convo turns more to small talk
Rather than the nitty gritty things you talk to a established and trusted group of friends

Xx

Oops excuse the kisses !

I think it’s odd that you think it’s odd.

But I’m a ‘more the merrier’ type.

I really don't think it changes the dynamics much at all, all the back stories don't need explaining, just a quick "Fred's my older son, he's12" would do and they can pick up the rest from the conversation.

No I’d presume they were just being friendly.

It does reduce the convos to small talk a bit though

@Lardlizard most people have said that you should welcome this person and it's not that odd but I still don't think you agree 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not odd at all but judging from your reaction, I'm reminded why baby groups, play groups and the school gate are such cliquey, unfriendly places for lots of us.

I'd only have an issue with it if it were two or three close friends meeting... any more than 3 then I think its totally fine to ask if someone else can join

Not odd at all. The other Mum might be trying to meet new people and start friendships. You might actually like her.

And she might have the best gossip (coz that's what you mean, you can't gossip about people if she comes).

I don't think there's anything wrong with a bit of small talk, its just how you get to know someone. You'll still be able to have a good catch-up with the others.

You sound a bit Mean Girls “you can’t sit with us!” to me.
She might not have a big circle or get out much and your other friend is being kind and inviting her. It’s nice to be nice.

It is frustrating because it completely changes the dynamic, as you say.

However I’d assume this new woman was lonely and your friend is being nice to her by including her. Or maybe the friend who has invited her is not as comfortable in the group as you assumed, and is bringing back-up?

No, it isn't weird. I'm sure you didn't mean it to but this post makes you sound a wee bit unpleasant.

We don’t gossip about other people but we do talk v frankly about things that are going on in our lives
Things you probably wouldn’t tell a stranger
Unless you are extremely open !!

Usually that’s ok, I’ve been called far far worse !