I don't know how to help myself

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I work full time and have wonderful children that are with me half of the time, half with their dad.

I am single. I rent. I am always skint. I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been to the doctors and there is nothing more they can do to help.

I feel utterly miserable. I don't like being me anymore. I feel I have failed at everything. I feel that no one likes me and I'm just a shit person.

I've tried reading positive thinking books. I've tried signing up to a dating site.
I cant even watch TV without losing interest.

I actually feel like there is no hope for me anymore.

Hi OP
I don’t have any words of advice I’m afraid but I know exactly how you feel.
I’m also single, I work part time but my youngest lives with me full time.
I’ve tried all the self help, mindfulness stuff too but still feel like I am only just about surviving.
I didn’t want your post to go unanswered and am genuinely sorry you feel this way

Just wanted to say that I completely understand. I don't have children, I rent, live alone, suffer with anxiety and depression and am currently miserable in my job. I hate feeling like this but I can't find another job and can't afford to leave without a job to go to. So tired of dragging myself through every day but don't know how to change things.

xx

It doesn't feel like living does it. More just existing. And I'm sure I have so many things I should be grateful for, I just can't feel it currently.

I have spent all day in bed. Just no motivation to do anything at all.

I just feel so lost.

CBT. After years of completely despising it, I had sixteen sessions with someone who knew what they were doing, and now I'm 'in recovery' from depression after how many years? Perhaps my entire life, definitely over thirty years. You know you want to feel better, start now. Get some help.

In the meantime, abandon all ideas of what your life 'should' be like. Reject anyone else's suggestions of the same. Notice your breath, in, out (yep, mindfulness too. All the clichés). Do you have a roof over your head? Are you in physical pain? If you have the very basic things you need, you are happy. Notice that. That is a happy moment. Bank it. Once you've had one happy moment, no-one can ever take it away from you. Notice and bank your happy moments - even in the depths of depression, there are many. Start banking, your account will soon be well into credit.

As for you being a shit person - you're not. You're someone doing what you can to survive. Sometimes that means hiding away and cherishing your suffering. But no condition is permanent, everything changes (aye aye, Buddhism, too)…

If it can work for me, it can work for you. Can't tell you how amazing I feel. Discharging me in December, my therapist said 'You might never need any more therapy'. It's out there. A decent life, a better mental state, less fear and next to no misery.

It is waiting for you to find it.

I can't afford CBT or I'd try it in a shot.
I've spent the weekend in bed and today at work I've been constantly on the verge of tears.
Wtf is wrong with me. I don't want to feel this way.