Life reboot - how to make the most of this opportunity

[lifereboot]

Looking to all you wise souls in this community.

Am at a real pivotal moment in my life. Anyway for someone who doesn't lead a very exciting life this is big for me.

After 15 years at the same company I am leaving at the end of March. Has been a great time and has allowed me to progress my career and raise my beautiful family. Good and tough moments. The last couple of years haven't been great due to being messed around at work and health issues with DC. So I have taken up an opportunity for a voluntary redundancy and will be leaving with a pretty good package. I decided this for many reasons - most because DC not in great health and in recovery but because I felt if I wasn't working I could look after them more without the knock on impact of the stress on me and DH. This last year I have been worn out almost to breaking point. Career wise too it hasn't been going in the direction I want.

So here I am about to leave and after a nerve wracking process have a good package negotiated which buys me time and some financial freedom. I actually cried with relief and could feel the stress starting to leave me as I finally came to this decision and agreement. I am convinced it is the right thing.

I am experiencing a whole range of emotions and thoughts - I am an over thinker. I feel relieved and happy but also scared and anxious of what lies ahead. I guess the very loose plan is that I will take some time off to look after more all the neglected areas of my life - my DC (even more than I have), me (completely neglected - my inner and outer health and wellbeing,), my relationships and time with family (DH and DPs and DMIL), and then my house (turn it more into a home from a house). And then I want to get back to working later in the year perhaps - not sure what looks like.

I am feeling overwhelmed with where to start and how to plan. I am conscious that grass is always greener on the other side and i don't want to waste the opportunity once I get to the other side. I am at once scared of doing too much too quickly and doing too little and getting complacent. So how do I start? Any advice?

I think you're making a mistake in thinking there's a right way to do this.

And you seem to be trying to "take control" and plan too much.

You don't need to do anything or start anywhere.

You can just be now.

To start with I'd just relax. Just be and de-stress. Nap, walk, polish the kettle and don't plan anything yet.
Give yourself some time.

Thank you both. Yes I think I do need to give myself permission to just be for a while. Been on the go for so long ain't know how to slow things down. Some self care definitely needed.

It always seems like there will be lots of time to do all these things when you stop working, whether for a day, a week or a prolonged period. But actually there isn’t a whole lot of extra time at all if you get up a little later, eat a breakfast that isn’t rushed, linger to smell the flowers, take time to have conversations with your dc instead of trying to get four things done while half listening....

Try not to focus on things you’re going to do and just be yourself only a little slower and brighter than before. Find your natural rhythm and pace; find the things that truly matter to you and give them attention. Everything else will fall into place.

Do something you've always wanted to do....read more, sew, draw, paint, go for walks.x

be prepared to feel a bit flat - i had to stop working because of my health, im very lucky dh earns enough for me to do that, however, although it was the right thing to do, for some time i felt very flat, useless and felt my life had somehow drifted away from me. I really hadn't realised just my much i felt my 'status' was connected to my employment. For sometime i was very embaressed if i was asked 'what do you do?' - It gets better though! to hace time to do things for me, dh and my wider family is an absolute luxury!

when you finish at end of March it will only be a few days to school Easter holidays so just relax for a few days slow coffee leisurely breakfast read the papers if it is your thing just de stress for a day or two,
enjoy the school holidays then afterwards take a few weeks or so getting house straight and paperwork sussed; to get your relationships back on track stop doing this when they arrive back from school work so you can have time to chat or just be

since I started working for myself at home more DD just likes being in the same room sometimes just doing her thing me doing mine, for her being there more is more important that the stress of a quality activity for 30 minutes

Take some time for yourself and reflect. You’ll probably actually realise that things were really tough for you - it’s often not until you step away the enormity of what you were coping with kicks in.
You’ve got some time financially so to speak so I think you’re doing exactly the right thing focusing on your Dp and children - making the house more homely etc.
From a work point of you, just see how things go, don’t put any pressure on yourself - one way or another these things seem to work themselves out. I left the NHS after 21yrs with nothing lined up and within 3 months had a contract fall out of the sky in private practice - that was nearly 5 yrs ago and life has been so much better since.
Good luck and don’t be too hard on yourself . 😉

Thank you for all your comments. They are really valuable and I will find a way to save these (as I think on chat do they go after 49 days?). I will take the time to reflect on all that you have said. Completely understand about the status thing as I was already starting to feel as I was losing something as I have worked so hard to be where I am. DP are very supportive but also being of a different generation feel a little uncomfortable at the thought of actively choosing to be out of a job.

I also completely understand about I won't realise how much I had on my plate until I stop. I am looking forward to this time in my life. I can feel already some worries starting to leave and I am starting to disconnect from the worries at work already. What is really interesting is that I am starring to see how little time I have had for life. And not just to get things done but to just be and appreciate and see things around me. Classic example at Sainsbury's the other day and I actually took time to look at the products in the beauty aisle. Would never have the headspace to do this before.

Not sure where 49 days came from. I was trying to say 30 days