Anyone got some handy advice for how to cut a recalcitrant toddler's fingernails?

[MeetMeInMontauk]

DD has fully subscribed to the 'terrible twos' narrative and any rude basic hygiene and safety intervention e.g. teeth cleaning is typically met with a spirited resistance. I can generally deal with this, but the latest

When asleep. Particularly if they've fallen asleep in the car seat. Access is easier.

I used to do it while the dc were having their daytime nap

My son used to hate it until I asked him to tell me when to 'snip' them. He used to let me line up the clippers, then say a loud commanding 'snip'. Before he allowed that, it was an emery board complete with violin noises (the things we do...)

Please don’t bite them! My DSis bit her DD’s fingernails when she was a baby, she ended up biting the corner stalk bit out (sorry don’t know the correct name for it ) and DD ended up with a massive wicklow (spelling?) and losing the nail and it’s never grown back, it was so badly infected and kept having to be drained etc, it was awful!

I should have added that we’re now doing them while he’s asleep as everything mentioned above had been tried and failed! We cracked haircuts by having to go to a Turkish barber fecking miles away - he still hates the bit round his ears but will tolerate it because they’re great with him. Might ask if they do nails as well.....

Ds is very resistant. After years of battles we now have an agreed plan - he has one nail cut in the morning and one at night, at the same time as teeth cleaning (which was the mother of all battles for years, but is now ok....ish).

Before cutting, I put pressure on the nail for a few seconds....this seems to help with whatever it is about the sensation of clipping/cutting that upsets him.

To clean his nails we use a white nail pencil, sometimes he does this himself (he likes sticking a normal pencil in there at school....so they look bloody filthy!)

This all happens in front of the TV or iPad, and I set a visual timer for 4 mins (this covers teeth, clipping a nail and cleaning them) With this he can see it's going to be over soon.

It's an almighty bloody faff, but it gets done (mostly!)

I offer to do manicures. Means I can cut AND file all four limbs' nails, and they sit still for at least ten minutes afterwards so as not to smudge the one coat of quick dry varnish I put on there. Works fantastically 😁

Buy sparkly nail varnish and refuse to let them wear it at weekends unless their nails are neatly trimmed first.

Bribery with Haribo.

Life is too short for battles.

Squeeze the finger tip then snip. Use clippers as you get a clean cut so no snagging.

I generally just pin them down. Often takes 2 parents. Ds2 is finally getting to the point where he will submit although hates his toes being done. Sometimes I just do one hand and often do it in front of the tv (specifically something I wouldn’t normally allow them to watch)

Bribe with chocolate.

Burrito them in a towel and the other parent cuts

I used to cut DS nails when he was sleeping. He even had his haircut once when he was asleep in the buggy. It was the only way!

Telly, chocolate buttons and getting them to tell me which ones to do.

Thomas on TV, restrain

Nibble them like you would a baby’s. Gross, but needs must...

Thanks for suggestions, all.

Just to provide closure for all those thousands of you out there who were doubtlessly losing sleep over the outcome of this issue, I can confirm that we have at last had GREAT SUCCESS by utilising a three-pronged attack strategy:

Phase 1 - soft play afternoon, to generate exhaustion in subject.
Phase 2 - sneak into bedroom half-hour after bedtime. Couple of gentle prods to assess sleep status of target.
Phase 3 - nibble off worst offending nails before beating a hasty retreat. Question life choices.

Not ideal, then, but a means to an end. It was at least less distressing for all concerned than the two-man parental wrestling team that was slated as our scorched-earth exit policy.

Make sure you scrub the nails in the bath.

I wouldn't fancy putting nails that have been round hell soft play in my mouth