What is wrong with me ?

[Rewy]

I just want friends that I can have fun with and share the good and the bad times. People always let me down or stop bothering with me. One by one they’ve all gone over the years. I have one long term friend left and that’s it. I’m terrified of losing her too. She is lovely but a very busy person with a lot on her plate.
I’m now in my fourties and have never felt so lonely.
I work alone so I have no opportunities to make work friends.
I don’t have any hobbies that would result in making new friends.
My children are older so I can’t meet anyone through them.
Am I such a horrible person ? Is having a friend too much to ask?
I never ever thought I would end up virtually friendless.

I can sympathise with you. It's like pulling teeth trying to get my 'friends' to meet up. They all live quite close by (within 15 mins drive) but I have tried many times to organise meet ups and am left unanswered etc. What amazes me is that we have children similar ages so what are they all doing with their kids all day that they couldn't mention once in a while 'oh we're going here soon, want to come along'??!
Even at kids activities nobody really talks to me, if I sit near someone and talk a bit they soon move away, probably to be closer to their children but still, they could return to chat a bit more but don't ever seem to.
I try to even meet up with family and that goes the same sort of way too. Have you tried that OP?
I have quizzed one 'friend' asking is there something wrong with me etc, she just said it's hard fitting everyone in and I could 'get out there' a bit more and she found it tricky at times when her child was younger, she stopped trying to please everyone and just gets on with doing her own thing (though mostly with other people!!).
I started a group on WhatsApp where I say what I'm up to and does anyone want to join in but mostly get no or ignored. Very miserable. I also feel guilt that my seeming inability to make/keep friends will impact on my young child's life 😕.
I'm quite happy and chatty and funny but still have this problem so can't give any advice other than to say keep trying to make new friends where possible?!

Also, I recommend audio books. It makes me feel less lonely. My best friends live in books 💔

I understand, yesterday I posted something similiar... I'm pregnant with my first child and dont have any friends, I'm 28 years old and all my friendships start but never last.. I think you should exhaust all options before giving up.

I dont know where you live. But have you tried the meetup app, if you live in a big city it could be a good way of getting out the house and meeting people based on shared interests. I have met many people through that app but real friendships take time to develop you have to be really patient and totally click with the right person/people.

I empathise with you loneliness can affect anyone regardless of age. But I'm sure there are local groups you could join to meet people in same situation to you. Good luck !

Thank for replying .
I think when children get older and move onto Secondary school you don’t get the opportunities to speak to people or ‘catch up’. Also I don’t do Facebook for personal reasons and again it’s lack of opportunities to check in with people.
It’s horrible feeling so lonely.
I look at people out with friends and wish it was me.
I haven’t tried the Meet up app. I will look into it.
Also I shall take up reading books again , it’s something I did and stopped doing because I’m always so tired. Perhaps I can escape into a book and find myself a friend within the pages.