Anyone else rubbish in group situations?

[Analog]

One-on-one, I'm fine. Put me in a group and I just freeze. I find it difficult to know when to interject as I feel I'm always about to interrupt someone or talk over them and so I either end up being silent or saying something awkward that no one laughs at. I find certain people in groups tend to dominate conversation and I'm definitely not one of them - I feel like I have to really force myself into the group conversation unless I know the people in the group really well. Anyone else the same?

I'm the same. Four or five people maximum. It means I can't speak up at meetings, parents evenings etc. I speak too quietly, my words come out wrong and I hate everyone looking at me. I never know when to interject either. I've always been like it.

Absolutely. It's so difficult.

Yep. I find it really hard. I feel really awkward

Those that dominate often feel as scared and awkward as you. I think I dominate, I certainly put too many thoughts forward but it's because I feel awkward when no one else speaks. I try really hard but its the reverse to your problem. So often I feel social inept

Yep, I find it difficult at meetings. I feel like I have to psych myself up for them! But group social situations aren't much better. Although I love catching up with friends I dread Christmas parties and parties in general because I feel awkward and can't think of anything to say

Me! I think it’s that I’m a people pleaser, and in a group I don’t know which person to try and please so I don’t know what to say.

Oh yes that's me!! Although in a work situation I can speak quite comfortably in front of a whole group of people, but in that situation they are looking to me for guidance, leadership etc, but put me in a group a fraction of the size socially and I freeze and end up saying nothing!

Work colleagues are always amazed when I say I hate being social because I come across as the polar opposite at work.

Yep. I actually get louder in a group situation, I have to or I get overlooked or not listened to. But it is not the real me. I am a quiet person, much prefer 1-2-1 situations, and I hate my louder persona. It has got worse the older I get, find being in any group situation stressy.

I am the same. I am OK with a couple of people but have to really make an effort if in bigger groups. If I am feeling ugly or fat (quite often) it is far worse. I go to networking things at work and just stand on my own and then escape as soon as I can. Useless. There are few people I am comfortable with.

Depends on the group.
I have certainly felt this way in the past and felt really uncomfortable socialising in a group, with people there who I don't know very well.
I've now worked out what works for me, and am more confident.

Indiana you’ve put your finger on it! I’m a terrible people pleaser and my brain goes into overdrive trying to work out if I’ve done something wrong or whether people like me.

I wish I could just take that part of my brain and hurl it into a lake or something.

I always do a prolonged post mortem in my head after a group event. Were they slighting me, did I upset anybody? Easier not to go in the first place. I hate that post mortem.

Yeah im the same. Even with my family l never know what to say most the time. Its hard when your in a group talking to opinionated people...or dominant personalities. I've never had a group of friends. Always one to one friendships.

I used to, but have coping strategies now.

So firstly I try and avoid situations like this.

Secondly if I am in this situation I just say nothing. Smile nod.

Because I am deliberately not contributing to the conversation, the pressure is off.

Yup , thought it was me

I'm fine 1-2-1

Fine if I have to give a speech , talk , lecture to any number of people ( even including tv cameras on occasions)

Put me in a group social situation even if I know each individuals well I really hate the whole experience , I'm shy , stutter , always look for a clock then I painfully work out the earliest I can go and count down the minutes ( actually seconds ! )

I avoid these get togethers as much as possible

I’m exactly the same.
I function better in smaller groups.

Oh yes exactly and often feel when I do 'join in' with a conversation that someone else is just talking over me, then I feel silly.

@IndianaMoleWoman that's exactly it! When I'm one on one I tend to tailor my conversational style and topics to the other person but in a group I'm lost because I have no idea what kind of persona to put on. I recognise this tendency in myself but I have no idea how to fix it.

Also I find group conversations a bit superficial and full of everyone trying to one up each other. I'm no good at the kind of witty banter people tend to like in groups.