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Original poster

Isn’t anxiety absolutely knackering

21 replies

unicorncupcake · 14/02/2019 20:03

Work is shit. Am off this week but have spent the week in a state of constant low level stress because I know I’m back next week. Am desperately trying to find another job but a combination of factors are making that tricky at the moment. As I’m on holiday my anxiety is filling up all the space in my brain usually filled with work, and I’ve managed to convince myself I’ve got cancer. And that I deserve it because of my one-cigarette-a-day habit that I am struggling to break. I find being off work almost more exhausting than being at work. Because at least when I’m at work I’m not constantly imagining what my funeral would be like.
Have been on medication for anxiety before but don’t have the emotional energy to make a drs appt. can’t make drs appts during term time as having to get cover is too stressful, haven’t managed to make an appt this week as I’ve had DCs with me the whole time and it didn’t feel appropriate to discuss it in front of them. Also don’t want to risk having time off with stress when I just want to get the hell out, as I worry it would affect my reference.

I am so tired. Tired of being anxious. Tired of working full time. Tired of intrusive thoughts. Tired.

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 14/02/2019 20:09

Yes yes yes.

I’m having an utterly shit day with anxiety, feeling on the verge of throwing up and bordering on a panic attack. Not sure what to do next. Dh can’t do right for doing wrong and I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I totally get you Op Flowers

Original poster
unicorncupcake · 14/02/2019 20:14

Flowers it’s shit isn’t it?!

If you met me, you’d have no idea-haven’t told DH how bad I’m feeling. Haven’t told anyone IRL how bad it is.

OP posts:
dontforgettofloss · 14/02/2019 20:20

I can relate, my anxiety is constant, even when I'm asleep I'm having dreams about things I'm anxious about, I wake up worrying that my dreams could've been real

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 14/02/2019 20:21

I have started to tell people, though I’m not sure how much that has helped. It then propels anxiety about whether they judge me, will they take my children away etc etc. Sometimes I feel I should have kept it a secret.

UghFletcher · 14/02/2019 20:57

I hear you, It's bloody exhausting.

Thanks for you.

Whisky2014 · 14/02/2019 20:59

Yes. But according to my brother it's a choice Hmm

QuintadiMalago · 14/02/2019 21:03

It's utterly exhausting to live with anxiety, especially if you have to keep up the pretence that everything is fine and dandy.
Flowers
For all of you

Whattsop · 14/02/2019 21:16

I could have written that post myself. The full time work, the Dr app effort, worse being out of work rather than in, the cancer, the funeral.

Yes to all. It's exhausting. Draining and generally life consuming. I'm even tired of being tired.

Flowers
Original poster
unicorncupcake · 14/02/2019 21:17

Yes. But according to my brother it's a choice

Ha. Like anyone would choose to feel like this.

When I have opened up about anxiety to people, then people ASK about it. And do head tilting and sympathy and I hate that more than just pretending that everything is fine.

OP posts:
tartandreams · 14/02/2019 21:18

it's fucking exhausting Thanks

SleepDeprivedCabbageBrain · 14/02/2019 21:21

Have you tried a meditation app? I use Headspace and it’s been a godsend. I know it doesn’t work for everyone but it helps me to deescalate and switch off in the short term. Hope you’re getting some rest.

Lolimax · 14/02/2019 21:23

I had the day from Hell on Sunday. Panic attacks and anxiety all day. I'm better now but mentally and physically exhausted.

Freshstart40 · 14/02/2019 21:28

You're not alone OP. Me too. I recently started on a low dose of Sertraline (50mg) daily and that's helped a lot but I relate to all you say.

Original poster
unicorncupcake · 14/02/2019 21:38

I’ve used sertraline before and it did help. My current way of dealing with it is to fill up
my time with projects and other things to ensure that I never have any time to think about anything.

OP posts:
SaveFerris1 · 14/02/2019 21:42

I hear you! Just been signed off work for 2 weeks as I've cracked today. It is utterly shit isn't it?😞

serialtester · 14/02/2019 21:59

Your OP exactly described all my thought processes. I've got an addition of hitting the self destruct button when things are really bad.

Antidepressants have really helped though. And yes, it is exhausting. Thanks

EddieVeddersfoxymop · 14/02/2019 23:44

Another one here exhausted by anxiety. Plucked up the courage to see my GP today so we have a plan in place. Can't switch off though, should be a skinny Minnie with the height of my heart rate for days in end!

RolandDeschainsGilly · 14/02/2019 23:48

Yep.

Insomnia is kicking my ass too which always makes it worse. I ha a 40 minute nap earlier and woke up having a panic attack. What the fuck is that about Hmm And I’m heavily medicated for it so it just seems even more rude.

I find hot sweet tea helps.

And Mini Eggs.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 15/02/2019 07:27

Have been dreading this morning and though I might wake up feeling positive (miracles do happen right?) but alas I’ve been crying. I’ve had to plaster a smile on for the kids sake (they’re older and do know I have anxiety) and called Dh at work for a pep talk. Poor guy.

Bedsidedrawer · 15/02/2019 07:46

Mine is back since a bereavement last year.
I have three kids and they're off school this week and I've not been sleeping well.
It is exhausting.

fartfacemcfartfaceface · 15/02/2019 07:51

Yep I'm struggling too - just about to go back to work in the spring after maternity leave and the anxiety is killing me.

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