Unwanted pregnancy

[mariecrystal]

I am 9 weeks pregnant and I dont want to be pregnant anymore. I keep crying every day. I never wanted to be pregnant but my husband wanted a child very much and I decided to sacrifice for him and forget about my personal wishes. Now I am desperate because I am carrying a life I cannot end because I am not strong enough to terminate. What hurts me the most is that I wouldnt have never driven him into something he didnt want like he did with me.I resent him for that. I am hoping for a miscarriage every day. Please dont judge. I dont know what to do. I feel torn.

It's your choice. If you don't want to be pregnant, you don't have to be.

Would it be possible to make an appointment with your GP to discuss your options? It doesn't mean you'll commit to having anything done.

You have options. Does your husband know how you are feeling?

@lockheart
Thank you very much for your answer. I dont live in Britain and here doctors dont listen much to you, you mostly need to make a decision on your own and then take action. I am afraid that terminating the pregnancy would be something that I will not be able to live with after doing it. I am also very disappointed with me for making this huge mistake and with my husband because he didnt listen when I said I cant and dont want to and insisted so much.

@thesearmsofmine
He knows how I feel and he doesnt understand. When I was sick because of the pregnancy he told me he is sorry for me but he is the man and I cant expect him to deliver the baby.

Well with the best will in the world, if you can't or won't terminate then you'll have to accept being pregnant. Those are your only two options I'm afraid - there's no third way out. Hoping for a miscarriage will not help.

I don't mean to be harsh but that's the reality of the situation. You need to decide which will be worse for you; having a baby you don't want with a man who frankly doesn't sound very nice or like he cares about your feelings, or having a termination and living with the guilt.

One way or another, these are your only options. Which is worse?

@lockheart
I dont know which is worse. I have to think more about this, but time is not really on my side. I feel paralysed and confused. Desperate like never before in my life.

It’s your body and your don’t have to keep the baby if you don’t wish. The only 2 choices here are an abortion or accepting the fact you are going to be a Mum

Having an abortion probably will end your marriage, your dh is unlikely to stay if you terminate a baby he wants.

There is no easy way out of this I’m afraid and only you can decide what to do, it’s harsh but it’s the way it is

Some of the way you're feeling may be pregnancy hormones. I wanted and planned mine but when I was initially pregnant with my first I had this overwhelming sense of terror. I felt trapped because I knew there was no undoing it now and knew I was now a parent for life. It is scary stuff. I'm not trying to be patronising but you will naturally feel hormonal in pregnancy which may be exacerbating your underlying fears. As previous posters have said though _ you have two options. If you really do not want to become a parent and are adamant of that you have an option. If you think there's a chance that having an abortion will turn out to be a haunting regret for the rest of your life you need to talk to someone. Can you trust anyone with this? You need some support. Your relationship doesn't sound healthy by the way.... I don't think you're happy and this baby is bringing it home to you that you're 'trapped'

Perhaps it would help to talk to other women your age about how they felt while pregnancy.
I remember the first few months were awful but once the sickness passed, it was easier to feel more positive because I didn’t feel so ill.
I also know what it is to terminate a pregnancy - a very long time ago - so if you want to message me, I might be able to answer your questions.

But keep talking to someone, don’t bottle it up.

I dont have anyone to talk to... My father died years ago. My mother is ill. My best friend is single and she wants a family from all her heart. She would see me as a monster if she heard what I have to say. I trust no one else. I am also aware that a termination could end the relationship with my husband. And I love him...
@seniorschoolmom- I dont feel this way because of the sickness, I dont have hypermesis, I havent been that bad. I have felt this way from the very beginning and I dont know how I let myself convinced into this.

Op, can you find someone to talk this through with? I am a Doula and sometimes this is something we are asked to help with. We can not make the decision for you but we can listen though we are not trained counsellors. Or perhaps there is a counsellor who could help you? Many work across Skype if you cannot find someone locally.

@Forgivenessisdivine
I will try to find someone to talk to altough counsellors are kind of expensive. People dont volunteer with this kind of work. No Doula here. All my respect for your work.