I'm due a smear test and I am terrified!

[MyBestFriendIsAHamster]

And when I say terrified, I don't mean a bit nervous or embarrassed, I mean I really am scared and am putting it off but I know I can't put it off forever.

I have only ever had one smear before and it was horrible. I'm not sure if it's because I am autistic or have sexual trauma in my past or a combination of both but it was so painful. And again by painful, I don't just mean a bit uncomfortable, I was actually crying out because it hurt so much and it took the nurse several attempts just to get the speculum in.

I know I need to take a deep breath and make the appointment but even he thought makes me feel shaky and sick. I know cervical cancer will be a lot more painful but I still need to get through the smear test.

I have also moved GP surgeries since the last one so it's a different nurse which just makes me feel worse.

Can anybody please give me a kick up the arse or some kind or reassurance or anything so I can phone up and make that bloody appointment!?

We can be scared together, I have mine booked for 1st March after avoiding for years.

Can you take a friend for a handhold? I would go with someone if they asked me to. Remember it is 5 minutes of stress and discomfort that could save your life.

Hi OP, just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I’ve just booked my third smear in, as soon as the letter come I just called and made the appointment and figured I can cancel/ stress whilst I’m waiting for the appointment to come. Do that now, call them and make the appointment now.
My first smear was fine, didn’t hurt at all. My second one did hurt. Then with birth trauma/anxiety I’m dreading it. I will go. I will tell the nurse I’m scared it’s going to hurt. I will let her reassure me. They don’t want to hurt us. I will stare at a spot in the ceiling and take deep breaths and I’m focusing on the relief I’ll feel once it’s done. Not having to waste energy stressing for another 3 years. I want that.
You can do this. And you already know why you need to do this. Call them.

You can get medication or other help , I’ve been offered an anaesthetic before (much the same problems as you), they were going to combine it with another op I needed doing . You can get diazepam etc instead as well .

I took my mum the last time because I was already nervous

Give the surgery a call and ask if you can have a chat with the nurse or a GP beforehand. Both autism and sexual trauma are going to make the process more daunting, and any decent health professional will understand this and do their best to support you.

Are there any practical steps that might help? I have appointments outside of normal surgery times so it's quiet and there's no waiting. If they can't do that you could ask for the first appointment of the session so you'll be straight in?

Feel a bit of an idiot asking her again though

I can completely empathise as the first few I had were excruciating. The nurse told me I need to ask for the smallest speculum and advised me to take 2 paracetamol and 2 ibuprofen together about an hour before the appointment. It actually really helped.

Thankfully since having children I no longer find them as painful i guess everything got stretched but I'm booked in for my next one in march and I'll still be taking the painkillers before I go.

Good luck.

Tell them when you book, tell the nurse when you go in. They will try and help but for some of us, it does bloody hurt so no point pretending.
I have a tilted and inverted cervix which is why mine are bad.

The pain is short lived, you won’t die and get yourself a treat after-nice meal, new top-whatever you’d really like. I like to bribe myself!

Remember it is 5 minutes of stress and discomfort that could save your life.

For someone with a history of trauma, it's so much more than that.

I understand you're trying to be helpful, but it's not helpful to minimise the distress that this can cause some people.

Can you call the doctors and ask to speak to the nurse or when you get there explain why you're so nervous.

Do you drink? A SINGLE glass of wine etc if you're not driving to help you relax.

Take a friend who can stand by your head and talk to you, hold your hand?

Unfortunately your stress will make it worse but once she's in there are things you can do ie moving position, to make it easier.

My heart breaks for you OP, it's bad enough just knowing it hurts when I have mine but with your sexual trauma in top its perfectly normal to feel anxious. You're doing fabulous and this is a much better option in cancer.

Long skirt rather than trousers might help you feel less exposed too

Big big hugs

Yes the last time she had to switch to a smaller speculum because the normal one hurt too much. She even at one point said she might have to stop because she didn't want to hurt me but I was determined to get it out of the way there and then. After she switched to a smaller speculum it still hurt but not as much. The problem is I'm very socially awkward and would feel like I'm putting people out by asking for a smaller one straight away.

Please talk to her. Explain and ask her to try with the smaller one first

Not really much of a drinker and I am such a lightweight I'm usually pissed after only one glass

I think telling myself I will treat myself afterwards will work. I just need to figure out what my treat will be .

I also normally get so upset on smear test threads because everyone is so dismissive usually but not on this thread so far.

Thank you .

They check the sample for HPv now and only look for abnormal cells if the HPv test is positive. You can buy HPv tests you do yourself as a swab and send off. If it came back positive you would then need a smear though. I am definitely considering having a private HPv test every 3 years instead of smears after my most recent smear came back HPv negative. Maybe discuss it as an alternative with the practice nurse.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to minimise. I meant that it would be over quickly, not that it was just 5 minutes. Xx

You need to be open and honest from the start of the appointment, the nurse will appreciate it and take her time and reassure you. They are more than happy to have all the info up front before they start. Do speak to the GP first and they could give you something to help you relax and take the edge off.
I've got cervical cancer so have checks all the time, it's hard to relax but that definitely helps with pain if you can, good luck.