Primary School kids taking Valentines Gifts in

[gamerwidow]

Is it just me or is this a new level of madness? I’ve got someone on my FB feed who has made valentines gifts for their children aged 8 and 5 to take in for their ‘first love interest’. Am I being mean spirited or does this seem beset with problems to you?

Anyway happy to accept I’m being a grump if that’s the prevailing opinion.

I don't quite understand what Valentines Day is supposed to be about these days. I was in card factory yesterday for a birthday card and spotted valentines cards for 'my husband' 'my son' 'my mum' 'the dog' and so on. As far as I remember, isn't the whole point that cards are 'anonymous' (even if it's pretty obvious who sent them)? Even if you forget the whole anonymity thing, surely it's a romantic thing for someone you fancy - it would never occur to me to send a card to my dad or my dog (not that I send them anyway being a celibate old grouch these days).

My 6yo DS gave a card and a chocolate heart to 5 girls and they were thrilled. He's a lovely sweet boy who likes to make people smile and those 5 girls are good friends of his. I don't see a thing wrong with that. Yes there will be ones who don't get something but as a previous poster says, that's a part of life.

So from 6 years old you're happy that girls learn that they will be judged by their looks.

So from 6 years old you're happy that girls learn that they will be judged by their looks.

I think by that age most boys and girls already know that.

The really good looking ones will probably have had far more compliments from strangers/shop staff/randoms on the bus.

Although hopefully they won't have seen the amount of Instagram/Facebook 'likes and hearts' the photos their parents put on SM of them have received. Well not yet anyway...

One of my earliest memories is of Valentine's Day when I was at nursery. I was sick and in the evening my friend's mum dropped in a card and teddy from her son. I still have it!

This happened when I was at school. I'm 34.

Rocky what are you on about? What has looks got to do with it? I see Valentine's Day as a day for love and love isn't about 'judging 6 year old by their looks'. At that age children 'love' each other because they are friends and that's it. That's how they see it.

actually feel really cross about this. I never got a single Valentine when I was at school and it was a horrible experience every year running the gauntlet of all those brandishing their numerous cards. Starting this at primary school?

Me too!

I grew up in the US and we'd decorate little boxes to collect our valentines in. If we were participating, we had to give a card to everyone. I always enjoyed it!

Ugh, I dunno.

At primary school I sort of think it is a nice "friendship" thing. On the other hand, if my DC ever wish to take stuff in for one or two friends only, I remind them to think of the people they are leaving out - who might equally be their good friends on different days/weeks of the month - and double-check they are being sensitive to others.

Also, we moved from a primary school that had no expectation of gift-giving or mad Christmas one-upmanship to one that is totally rife with it. First of all it's a Christmas card to all 30 members of Reception (times however many children you have) and then it's a chocolate coin stuck in too, and then it's a sweetie cone or a stuffed mini stocking or whatever else. And the cakes/sweets for the whole class on your birthday and on and on it goes. I find it exhausting and a bit exclusionary, if I am perfectly honest, and wish there was a bloody blanket ban on it all!

Which I'm sure makes me a grumpy git. But there's so much time later on in childhood at secondary school for not-getting-a-Valentine's card or not-being-in-the-gang that I wish Primary school was more egalitarian and whole-school or nothing.

My 5 year old was in tears after school as "everyone got a valentines treat except me" I felt so sad for him. But I do think it's an important emotion, to experience disappointment. For him though it was more about missing out on candy than rejection as it might be for older kids. I saw mums this morning with gifts for their children to give. Think I'd only do that if my kids initiated it. Appreciate it's hard though, as our instinct is to want to protect our children from all hurt. Which is impossible. I'm trying to focus on building their self esteem so it won't matter so much. Not just valentines but kids party invites etc etc

I never knew this was a thing until today, I actually can’t believe it. My DD (8) left school telling me all about people in her class who had given someone else a box of chocolates, cards, teddy bears . I can’t believe the parents indulge them!

There’s is a valid life skill to the disappointment though. Not getting cards from “ admirers” means you can weed them all out. People that like you want to be near you and let you know.
Wish I had learnt earlier that the people that fancied me would make an effort and the ones that didn’t, didn’t . No matter how much effort a I put into their Valentines card or present, bring nice, being sexy etc etc etc.

I asked DS, who is 9, and he told me it's all too cringy, the person who gets the card gets all embarrassed and then the person who sent it gets all embarrassed and it's all horrible and they can't play properly. He's told me when he finds someone he loves he's just going to go somewhere quiet and tell them he loves them

I had to give one of my class a tenner back to take home that he'd tried to slip into one of the girl's bags the other day in lieu of a valentine's. I did tell him a card was nicer (and cheaper).