Post natal depression first time around. Am I crazy thinking about a second?

[cradlebrain]

Hi all, my daughter has just gone one and I had a bad 6 months or so with post natal depression. Even now I have days when I feel useless and like she's too hard work. 90% off the time I adore her and find her so much fun to be around. I've already wanted more than one and recently my dh and I have been discussing ttc again. Obviously I'm concerned about myself and that I have a lot more to deal with than I did first time round. Has anyone got any experience of a second baby after such a tough start with the first?

I suffered tremendously with PND with my first. Second baby not even the usual baby blues! You are better prepared mentally with second babies. I’m so glad I took the chance and got to enjoy a newborn baby.

I can’t speak from experience, but I have a friend who suffered from serious PND with her first. She felt nervous deciding to TTC for a second, and in fact she did get PND again, but because she and her DH were able to spot the signs, it meant that she recognised and treated it much sooner.

You and those around you will be more aware of your symptoms if it happens again. You can have pre natal counselling also. If you do have another baby make sure you check in with your health visitor and gp for the few weeks after birth and get medication early if you feel the same way as last time. It's no reason not to have another but I totally understand your concerns. I was on meds after mine but managed ok after my last child as I had told everyone around me to watch for the signs.

I had very severe pnd with my first child - to the point I thought I made a mistake having her and went back to work full time when she was 3 months old and went on 60mg antidepressants. I was a wreck. It took me about 3 years to come through it and I only really bonded with her as she outgrew the baby stage.

Ten years later I had another child and it was a totally different experience. No pnd whatsoever. I was in my element and I have been a stay at home parent since. (Now 6 years ago).

I think having a supportive partner makes a lot of difference. With my dd I was a single mum and I found it very difficult to cope with lack of sleep etc which made pnd much worse. With my second child I was happily married and dh really helped out.

Life has been very difficult as my second child has autism and learning disabilities but even so I’ve had no repeat of the severe depression I had with my first child.

My first child is now 16 and we have a fantastic bond.

I had it with my first but not with my second or third.

I had severe pnd with child 1, but very little with child 2, as previous posters have said, you're more prepared for child 2, emotionally as well as physically, and having suffered once doesn't mean you'll suffer again. Be honest with midwife when they ask you about your first pregnancy etc - there's a lot of support they can put in place in advance just in case. But, the chances are high that you'll be absolutely fine - I've found having a second child very healing, after a traumatic time with my first child.

I had it with first and third babies, both girls, felt fantastic after second baby, a boy. I think I sort of forgot about PND after DD1 but I had really bad PND after DD2. Took months to feel normal. But I wanted three DC and nothing would've stopped me.

I had it with no 1 but not with the twins who came after.

No 1 was textbook birth, comparatively easy singleton baby, met all milestones etc. Miserable miserable first year.

Twins, MH crisis before birth, babies born in hospital toilet with no medical assistance, 2 week stay in NICU followed by 7 weeks under NICU outreach, still under consultant care at 1y, and also just TWINS.... not a sausage. Felt cheerful and able for anything throughout.

No rhyme or reason imo!

I'm like notyourmummy. I suffered terribly with PND after dc1 but it many ways having my second was healing for me. I realised that a lot of what happened first time round wasn't my fault and i was, in fact, a good and capable mother.
I have almost 3 years between my two though. I wouldn't have been ready sooner, i think.