I have NCd for this in case her family browse these pages. It's long, so apologies in advance.
I have a friend who I used to live a couple of doors down from. 4 years ago we moved a few streets away but remained friends. This lady will be 99 in March. I will call her Ada. We always helped out with clearing her path if it snowed, my dh would change her lightbulbs, shopping etc. Once we moved away we remained friends and still helped her out a fair bit. Her family all live quite a long way away. We are all in North London and her son is in Gloucester, grandkids in S London and elsewhere. They see her rarely.
Ada was generally quite fit until last July. One evening I had a call from her granddaughter in Surrey who said she couldn't get hold of her DGM and could I go and see if all was well? I have keys , so I drove over to Ada's house, rang, knocked etc....no response. I let myself in and she was lying ill on her couch. Long story short, I called the ambulance and she was admitted to hosp with pneumonia plus other complications. She ended up being in for two weeks and I visited her every two days and took her fruit etc, since her son and DGD only managed one visit each.
While she was in hosp I went to her house to get some clean clothes and realised Ada has no washing machine and has never had one 
. Once she came out of hosp it became apparent that she is a lot frailer and cannot really manage for herself. She has not been able to leave the house unaccompanied since that time.
My dilemma is this: when she came out of hosp, I offered to take over Ada's laundry which she was grateful for. I suppose I thought her family would put something in place to take care of it eventually, like having a washing machine installed - but nobody has made the slightest move to do so. Seven months on and I am still trundling over there twice weekly to collect her laundry/drop it off, and her family have made no effort to intervene. They barely visit. Ada has a visit once weekly for an hour by a carer from a local company but she absolutely will not hear of any further interventions. I have practically begged her to increase her visits from the carers but she refuses - but her family aren't helping either.
When I spoke to her yesterday about getting a small washing machine installed she said there was no room and she couldn't put one in the garage as it's full of her grandson's old cars and junk - this is man in his 40s, btw. I asked her why he can't take his stuff out so she could have a machine installed but she just made excuses. Her family do nothing but she will not hear a word against them.
I really don't want to keep doing her laundry but when I told her this yesterday she was really upset. I feel that 7 months is enough, tbh. She will not let me contact her family members as she 'doesn't want to cause trouble'. I feel guilty but I work pt, have 2 teenagers and a home to run and I am finding myself becoming resentful. My dh is completely outraged that Ada's family have been happy to let me do her laundry and other stuff ( I take her to appointments too) with absolutely no thanks or acknowledgement or recognition that the situation needs looking at.
WWYD? thanks for reading .