Neighbor taking advantage of our kind nature

[paige321]

This is a long on

I have moved into a new house neighbors are lovely but.
We live in terrace so our door is literally next our neighbors.
She is a lovely neighbour very chatty but I think she's starting to take the piss out of my partner.
She lives on her own with her daughter
We used to go in there from time to time with our daughter as she loved seeing her dog but she has reasently got a new dog which she ask us to put money towards it ( bit cheeky) and he jumps up at her and he scratched her face the other day so she doesn't want to go in there really anymore.
She brought a light from a friend and ask if my partner could put it up for her as she knows he done one similar in our house so he agreed to do it thinking it will be as simple as our one. He is not a electriction he is a security engineer so instils camera alarms ect. So he's doing the light there was all sorts of problems so he couldn't do it on the day she ask but beacuse she brought him some cigarettes she ask him if she could put up some art work so he did beacuse of her buying the cigarettes but bare in mind he has already put - skirting boards all the way around her living room - sorted out her live wirering around her living room so it's safe for her. Put blinds up in her bedroom and kitchen.
But Sunday she was banging on our door like there was a emergency my partner was asleep due to working nights so rushed down the stairs and she said quick I just fell off steps and hurt my finger ( while showing him her finger) nothing was there. "trying to put this mirror up in my bathroom"
So he said I havnt got my tools thinking she would let him go back to sleep but she didn't take no for a answer. So he went in to do it. There was no ladder and no tools so she hadn't even tried to do it herself! so he put it up for her anyway. Just won't people advice how are we meant to stop her keeping asking to do things as he is too nice of a person to say no or saying something else without being rude.

I appreciate it must be hard though. 4 months in and in a terraced house you do everything you can to have a good relationship with your neighbours. It's easy to let it get out of control. The good thing here is that it hasn't been that long so you haven't got to go back on a few years of favour giving. 4 months is nothing, it'll be shit and awkward for a while but be strong and you will feel so much better for doing it. Sending you confidence and strength, tell that bitch to piss off!!!

But you BOTH have to be consistent and take the same approach. Its the only way it will work. He must not engage. Talk about it with him.

I feel for you, i fucking hate bonkers neighbours.

@Constantlurker thanks! I'm hoping that I catch her on my own so I can pull her on these things and then hopefully she leave off

Let her cry-she’s using you and you’re letting her. Just say no.

Hopefully she will take the hint...though, certain sorts... don't tend to let you end things on your terms. Wouldn't be surprised if she finds a way to throw a public tantum with you. But yeah, just gotta be firm if she does.

Get in there first. As soon as you answer the door to her ‘oh I’m so glad it’s you, I needed to come over and ask for £500 - we’re short on rent this month and I know you believe in neighbours helping each other’. Next time ‘oh, I wanted to say we’ve promised aunt Mildred she can stay with you next month. We really don’t have the room and I know you’re so good at making Dave feel welcome at your place’. It needs to be outrageous so she starts avoiding you.

@GemmeFatale she'll take that as she can move in with me if she gets kicked out of her landlord 😂 best trying to avoid her at all cost I'm hoping she knocks again and she gets me instead of my partner so I can make up so excuse and just keep saying when he's not busy so she cant have him doing things when she wants she soon run back to her other neighbour who has already given her money for Christmas presents for her daughter beacuse she wasted all her and other peoples money on that dog which she don't take out or even bother with the other one now as it's "her daughters dog" it's a nightmare hope she gets the message

Just start saying you really can't help ongoing as you work and have your own things to sort from moving. The only thing other than saying no is to contact social. I think you'll need to say no and let her get over it. If she becomes rude or a nuisance you may have to phone police. I wonder why the last people moved 🙄

@Tinkerbell89 well eve been trying avoid her these past couple of days and yesterday we was taking our daughter for a walk as we was leaving to go out. She shot to the door "where you going" my partner replied going on a walk maybe to the park.
And she had the cheek to say "I was going to take the dogs on a walk, do you wanna take them"
Even if she was saying it for my daughter sack as in she might love taking them out
But I said a stern no.
As she doesn't take them out her self I'm not her personal dog walker I think she kind of got the message by my face of shock of her asking me.
Just going to keep saying no and avoiding having to interact with her.
I'm hoping she's going to move out soon as she can't afford her rent. Finger crossed.

‘No’ is a full sentence.

#paige321 good luck 🏡

Maybe she is wanting other skills your dh has?!