What am I missing - 3 wk old unsettled 18 hours a day.

[thesausagesmademedoit]

I am so tired I fear this will be quite jumbled but I need some help and advice. I have a very unsettled, crying or screaming baby and I need to know if I’m missing something.

I have a 3 week old. He is formula fed, taking 120mls every 4 hours. Usually taking the lot. From his 6am Feed until midday he is pretty good, goes back to sleep quickly until 10am feed then naps on me, transfers to his carrycot and sleeps for a few hours. From then on he is a grizzly chap until about 8pm when he starts really crying and builds up to full on screaming- last night he was screaming from 11.30 until 3am. Similar the night before.

I have tried 3 types of bottles - Tommee Tippee anti colic, dr Browns and MAM anti colic. I’m using the MAM bottles now alongside infacol as he is better with the teat and would drink a full bottle in 20 or so minutes if I didn’t stop to wind him half way instead of taking up to an hour with Tommee Tippee and dr browns.
Infacol in case it is colic but he burps well.

From 8pm he will only lie on my chest on his tummy but is crying or grizzling constantly - put him down in his Moses basket and he screams. Gets worse as the night goes on.

Sometimes rubbing his tummy or back helps, other times not. Same with a dummy. My neck is full of scratches where he’s clawed at me before I cut his nails. Last night and the night before I spent 2 hours walking up and down the stairs which quietened him But didn’t settle him. . Not great for my c-section sore tummy!

He is rarely sick after a feed; does not show symptoms of a dairy allergy.
He likes to be swaddled in his Moses basket when he goes down at 3am or he jolts himself awake again.

My dp does the 10pm feed and starts the 6am feed but I finish it as he has to leave for his commute. No other help around.
I can’t sleep when baby does now. I’ve passed that line. He’s just gone off to sleep on me. If I move he’ll scream again.

What am I missing other than he’s a 3 week old? He was a superstar for the first week...

Did your baby have a traumatic birth? Mine did, she screamed all the time, we got her cranial osteopathy and she got better almost over night.

"does not show symptoms of a dairy allergy"

Do you know all the symptoms of CMPA and are you sure he doesn't have any?
www.allergyuk.org/information-and-advice/conditions-and-symptoms/469-cows-milk-allergy

My DS had CMPA (non-ige) and silent reflux, and we didn't realise until he was 8 months old! It's not always obvious. But in your case there is obviously something wrong.

I advise you to register him at the GP ASAP, and if it's difficult to get there, call and ask if you can do it over the phone or online. I doubt the GP will see him if he's not registered and they won't be able to prescribe anything either.

OP I notice you've said you're having trouble sleeping and that you're possibly not coping. Please make an appointment with the GP to talk through options for your needs if you feel like this.
Sleep deprivation and worrying for a newborn can have serious effects on your physical and mental well being. I'm sorry to lecture, I just wouldn't want you experience what I did when I went through this and I neglected my own health.

I've just re read your OP and I see that it was taking him a long time to finish some bottles. Another issue to rule out is tongue tie. It's a bigger issue for breastfed babies but can still cause problems for bottle feeding. And it can cause or aggravate reflux.

See www.tongue-tie.org.uk/Mobile/m-tongue-tie-information.html

If you suspect tongue tie you need to get a proper tongue tie assessment from someone properly trained to do it (most HVs and midwives aren't, GPs definitely aren't). A lactation consultant would be ideal.

I don’t know much about formula feeding or reflux so can’t comment there but just wanted to say look into a cranial osteopath - some babies are very uncomfortable physically from the trauma of birth and osteopathy can work wonders for a baby that cries a lot! It’s not a guaranteed fix but if you don’t think it’s a feeding issue then might be worth a try? I tried it with my little one who cried for hours on end every night and he was definitely better afterwards! It wasn’t a miracle cure but he was much happier and crying reduced significantly.

Are you winding him enough? Cycling the legs can help too. You should stop a feed halfway through and burp him. Use a few different positions to burp too.

I'm in exactly the same boat. Crying had just kicked off, will go on til 1 ish now. I think it's reflux but not sure doctor will do anything - registered today so might try to book an appointment. Really dread every evening at the moment and can't eat with the stress of anticipating another sleepless night so I know how you feel.

Thank you all for your advice and kind words. I now plan on ringing the GPs surgery tomorrow morning and explaining the situation for both him and me.

We live in the borders and are quite a long way from civilisation which is great until you have an emergency c-section and can’t drive. (It also means my boy has a Scottish name meaning strong willed and stubborn and that he is! But in a perfect way!)

We’re entering his witching hour now... he’s asleep, wish me luck!

My HV thought my DD had silent reflux. Obviously not a doctor so I was a bit skeptical. My son did have reflux but he was sick all the time so it was much more obvious. I switched my DD to anti reflux formula and it improved a little. She’s 8 months now and I’ve tried to switch her back but she prefers the anti reflux. The thing that helped massively was every evening my husband would put her in the sling and walk the dog for 30 mins. It was much warmer then so you would need to really wrap up baby. She was always calmer after as I think being upright and on the move outside in the fresh air really helped. Worth a try maybe

It must be really hard not being get anywhere under your own steam Is there anyone who could give you and DS a lift to the doctors if you need one? Assuming you have a DH/DP who is working, any chance he might be able to take half a day off or wfh if necessary?

DP has a day off next week to get me to the gp’s. His work is being fairly good especially when his notice for paternity leave was less than 12 hours.

Our friends in the area are not exactly local either.

Things never quite go to plan.

No they don't
Hang on in there. It gets better eventually. Promise!

My baby was exactly the same, he was totally fine the first week and then he began to behave as you described. He seemed so uncomfortable from midday onwards and basically had to be carried around upright. He is my 4th child so I knew it wasn’t normal.

I took him to GP and she agreed it sounded like silent reflux. I chose a female GP with young children which I feel may have helped. She told me to try carobel thickening powder which made his feeds much more comfortable in his stomach and told me to come back in 1-2 weeks if no better. I returned after 10 days and she prescribed ranitidine and the results were amazing, he literally became a new baby within 24 hours. He was so settled and happy and has remained so. Ever so often he starts to exhibit same symptoms and then we know it’s time to increase his dose ( it’s a tiny dose prescribed according to weight). He’s my best baby yet now! If I was you I’d ask the GP to prescribe the ranitidine, it’s definitely worth trying.

Are you winding for long enough? You are supposed to wind for the same amount of time they took to feed. We were definitely not winding enough and had a few weeks of constant evening crying. It stopped when we realised we needed to take more time winding.

You were rather dismissive 're the mls you're giving him. I realise he's not accepting milk unless it's 4hrs, but perhaps if you reduce to 90ml as suggested he might then actually go to 3hrs. A full and uncomfortable/hard to digest tummy may indeed be the issue.

Just chiming in with everyone saying silent reflux.

My DD had it, and was like a different baby after her first dose of gaviscon. She slept for six solid hours too, she must have been really suffering.

@DangerMouse17 apologies if I sounded dismissive; that wasn’t my intention; I tried that when he first started being so unsettled, even with reduced feed sizes he has refused earlier than 4 hours; he just cried and cried as if he were hungry but wouldn’t eat. In fact we both cried. And went back to 4 hourly after 3 days.

Understand OP...just wanted to make sure you weren't potentially discounting a more simple solution to the problem, but sounds like you've tried that already at the start if all this. Hopefully the GP can help with the silent reflux investigation...appears as though it could be that from other comments.

I feel for you both

@DangerMouse17 Thank you.
I’m trying to be logical and methodical in making changes to see what helps rather than led by Dr Google until we can get to the GPs so I really am grateful for all suggestions.

I would suggest using Dr. Browns and moving up a teat size to size 2?
It does say 3-6 months though I had to move at 5 weeks and to be honest I should have done sooner. It was only for the hv advising it that I did change teats.
IMO they are the best for wind and colic.