I don't want to go back to work because I'm fat

[Crunchymum]

Have been on ML for coming up to 13 months. Baby is coming up to 13 months.

I am due back in a few weeks and I'm so ashamed and embarrassed that I haven't managed to lose any weight. In fact I'm a stone and half heavier than I was at 3 days post partum had gestational diabetes so gained very little pregnancy weight as I was diet controlled

There are lots of other mitigating factors, I was diagnosed with Arthritis and couldn't walk for best part of 4 months, but all everyone will see is that I'm still really fat.

Lost a bit with slimming world but I'm still several stone away from feeling even remotely confident.

I am seriously considering not going back

I'll be the fattest person in the office. Seriously. I'm such a mess.

OP You're just back from having a baby. People will want to ( or not want to;)) hear about that. It is nobody's business how much weight you gained and most likely you're the only one it'll bother. Get in, ask what happened while you were gone and chat to people. As they say fake it until you make it and go easy on yourself, you've done amazing already

This was me 5 years ago. I started a thread too. It was fine. Honestly.

Hope it goes ok

Ah, you're assuming that everyone in your place of work will actually care about your weight. They honestly will not. And if they notice? So what? It's hardly going to keep the gossip mill going for weeks on end is it? Purely because it's just such a nothing thing

I understand that to you it is and you're feeling rubbish and self conscious. I truly get that - and that's a whole other thread in what you may or may not choose to do re your weight

But for the topic of this post alone - your colleagues really won't care one way or the other

Do you work in modelling or do you work somewhere where they pay you for your skills, expertise, experience and the value you bring to the business? I'm sure you look much much better than you think you do, and your colleagues will have missed you and be delighted to have you back and the last thing they'll be thinking is you're less capable and valuable than you were because you're currently a bit bigger than you were!

Have you bought yourself something really nice to wear? Jewellery or an accessory if you don't want to invest in clothes while you're planning to slim down. You might be heavier but you're still beautiful and the same person inside. You deserve nice things and to feel good about yourself. Self loathing will send you the way of donuts. A bit of self appreciation will make you care for yourself better. And work want YOU back, not your old dress size.

I was fatter at the end of ML than just after giving birth too. If people have noticed, they’ve never said anything, and it hasn’t stopped me being promoted since I went back.

But I know exactly what you mean. For me, fatness was about domesticity and having slightly lost sight of my public and professional self.

But I promise you it’s been absolutely fine. You will switch back into work mode (without ever stopping being a mother), and you will be grand.