Hi,
A mummy friend who I met at baby classes has been making stories up about our 1 year old children. They both attend the same nursery, however, only share Friday mornings with each other.
To give you an idea of this lady’s personality, she is very vocal, opinionated and enjoys attention. She likes to ‘lead the pack’ and when we used to meet up with our other mummy friends or we we’re taking part in an activity, she would often shout ‘look at (child’s name)’ even though she wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary and we were caring for and trying to enjoy our own children! She would often try to influence us all to push food on our little ones (pre-weaning), telling us all she was going to be a bad influence and have our babies eating all sorts. A couple of us stood our ground and said no. She likes to think herself as a ‘know it all’ and as her child was little older than the rest of ours, she used this to her advantage telling us all what we were in for. In our mummy messenger group, it became ‘all about her and her child’. Frequently sending us all pictures of her little one, all the illnesses they were suffering with (some were even questionable and our advice was ignored - of course as she knew it all!) even sending us pictures of her lg’s nappy rash / thrush! She feeds her daughter anything and everything, plus lots and lots of milk. One bedtime she told us she had 16oz of milk before bed and was still awake! Her ear drums have also perforated about 8-9 times! It started to feel like things were becoming exaggerated for attention. On a couple of occasions, she had mentioned directly to me that he daughter was pushing my daughter over at nursery. I didn’t react to this as they’re babies, I thought these things can happen. This was on my way to work at drop off. Later on that day, I thought I would mention it to the nursery staff and they looked at me really confused. They said if her child had been doing that, they would have notified both parents, but not mentioned the other child’s name. It’s they’re policy to follow these strict rules. They insist nothing like this has happened and questioned how she could have seen that happen herself as our children only see each other one morning per week, and she always drops her daughter off before me, we’ve only ever bumped into each other that once. I was as confused as the nursery staff. Then a few weeks later we were invited to her daughters birthday. Her husband told me that my daughter ‘needed to give his daughter a taste of her own medicine.’ I bit my tongue as I was slowly starting to put together in my head that somethings not right here. Either the nursery were lying or this woman’s cheese had slid off her cracker! Obviously, she’s told him somethings happened. A week later, we both had a christening to attend of a friend’s little girl. Pretty much the first thing she mentioned in the church was about her child pulling my child down - I was in church, I bit my tongue! I relayed this back to the nursery. They confirmed no such thing has happened and actually claimed that you would not even think that our children knew each other and that they don’t play with each other. The nursery advised me to question this with her as they stood firm that they have policies in place that must be adhered to and would not ignore things like that. Reiterating that if their child had done that, the child who it was done to wouldn’t be named, they’re not allowed to. I decided that if any more stories were mentioned to me, that I would question her about it and that I had actually discussed these occurrences with the nursery and they confirm it is not true. Unfortunately I’ve not yet had the opportunity to confront her face to face! Then last week, I received a message from another mummy friend. She told me that she didn’t want to worry me, but thought I should know that this other woman had told her that her child has been hitting my child at nursery. Thankfully, my daughter was in nursery the next day, so I told the staff and this time spoke to the manager, showing them my friend’s message. They were shocked and repeated what their policies were. I’m satisfied that the nursery follows protocol and know they care for the children well, mine included. They are a lovely nursery and welcome me and my child each time they see us. My child is always happy to arrive and leave from there and is thriving. The manager asked if I was happy for her to speak to the other mother, I agreed and awaited for a message that night, IF she had twigged it was me. No message, but the next morning she sent the group a good morning message and hoped we all had a ‘magical weekend’. I’m so confused! Why would you make stories up about your child and portray them as a bully? Our children are only 1! It’s like she’s trying to get a reaction from me, yet I made sure she never has. I can only conclude that she has mental issues and craves attention. My little girl was premature and is much smaller than her daughter. I just don’t understand why she is beelining for my daughter. What would you do? Any advice? It has been easier to avoid her since going back to work. But we do have a children’s party coming up...we share the same mummy friends and don’t believe she is doing this to anyone else