Tell me how to communicate my needs better, please?

[oxcat1]

Please could you help me improve my communication as my current method keeps causing difficulties, despite my best efforts!

For context, I am disabled (wheelchair user, with full-time care) and also currently in HDU for a nasty infection.

Several times during this stay - and also previously at home - I have run into difficulties when asking the nurse or carer to help me with something.

I tend to say 'at some point, please could you do x/y/z', or 'Tonight, I need to do x, y, z, please'.

Rather than make endless small requests of them, I try to group them together, assuming that the person can then prioritise or plan their time as best works for them (particularly in hospital where there are other patients too). I don't generally care when those things happen, as I try to make clear (see first example), but just that I would Like it done at some stage.

However, what keeps happening, despite my best endeavours, is that the nurse or carer thinks that I am asking to do all those things now, and they then feel stressed and hassled by too many things to do.

I don't know how to improve my communication here? I thought I was being considerate and clear, but it just keeps back-firing. I am generally being quite explicit about the timing not being important, but that seems to get lost somehow?

Any ideas? I am so grateful for the help I get and certainly don't want to cause added stress - but now this is stressing me as I don't know how to do it better!

Show them this thread!! You've just spelled it out eloquently.

Or maybe limit it to 2 things at a time, even if that means you have to ask more times.

Hope you make a swift recovery.

Would writing a list help? Do the carers actually have time to do all the tasks?

I second writing a 'to do' list that they can tick off throughout their time with you.

Thanks for the replies.

I did do a list with one of the carers and it works well - he appreciates organising his time etc.

I can try that with the nurses but they are often 'smaller' jobs, e.g. I'd like to use the commode, plus I want to brush my teeth and find the phone charger cable. They seem too insignificant/transitory to write down, but I can certainly try it.

If it was just one nurse, I'd ignore it, but it has been brought up several times so it is clearly me.