I always thought I had lots of friends....

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

It’s slowly dawning on me that maybe I don’t. How awful is that? I wonder how long I’ve been in denial?

What has made you think this and does It matter? A few close friends is better than a lot of acquaintances imo.

You’re not the only one, wanna be mates 😂 I have literally one friend plus my DH, sad isn’t it?!!

I'm the same

It matters to me. I’m slowly being dropped by people I really like and it hurts.

I felt a bit like this after I had DS.

We need more details about why you feel like that. But I don’t think anyone really has lots of friends. Lots of acquaintances maybe, but ones you can really rely on, I think most people could count on one hand

What have you noticed and how can you be sure? Things wax and wane all the time. Don't worry unless there has been a big fall out. Friendships do change with time but real friends can always pick up where they left off. Try not to worry too much.

Just messages read but unanswered, I’m talking months not days. People gradually just no longer bothering. I have free tickets to an activity that we all do I can’t give away at the moment. That kind of thing. I never get any messages from people unless I message first or they want something. Even people I would call close friends don’t really bother.

OP I find exactly the same thing is happening to me. I don't know ether it's part of getting older, people having DC and being tired from being at work so they just do things with DP and DC and start to forget about other people. I noticed it a lot earlier this year and it really upset me. I started wondering what was wrong with me and if there was something about me people didn't like. I joined gym classes, a cookery class and started a course I'd been thinking about for ages. I've met some people who were very friendly to me and actually messaged or called me to suggest getting together rather than me asking people if they'd like to do things and getting no response. I think sometimes it's time to say oh well, I'll move on and find new friends

Is that a marked change from how they used to behave? Like is it a sudden thing or a slow decline in communication? Could they just be busy?

Yes busy with other friends. That makes me sound jealous, maybe I am.

Some of these friends have been in my life for more than a decade, more than two decades in some cases.

I've been going through something similar with my friends at the moment so I know exactly how you feel

The realisation that my relationship with my best friend was only on her terms was a particular hard one

People have families, children, jobs, shopping, housework and husbands. As they move from carefree youth with no responsibilities, free time gets less and friends go further down the priority list. It's not just you.

I dropped out of all friendships late last year for various reasons. Ignoring everything and everyone including activities I would normally do. It wasn't anything personal, I just needed space.
Over the past few weeks, I have started to reconnect with people. My friends know what I am like and when I drop out they understand.

However, if it's you that's initiating contact and them only contacting you when they want things, I would drop them anyway. I don't see these people as friends.

It’s hard to explain. I think I’ve just moved from ‘no matter what we’re doing or how long it’s been, if I need them they’re always there’ to now feeling like maybe they aren’t.

I've been through exactly the same OP. It's shit isn't it? I am perhaps further down the line than you, I have actually stopped trying. I've started making new friends but there are people I miss terribly.

Yerp, same here. I thought I would call my best friend yesterday for a chat and I think she has changed her number!! We are not on social media etc so dont think she wants to be friends anymore!

It’s so sad and I see so much advice about ‘ghosting’ or fazing people out. I don’t think they realise how hurtful that is. I haven’t done anything wrong.

I understand, it is hurtful. Try to look forward and fill your time with things you enjoy. Easier said than done, I know.

Could it maybe because you don't try making new friends?

I don't keep in touch with a lot of my old friends, but new ones take their place.

Who said I don’t try making new friends? I do and I like them but I love my old friends too.

I have no friends at all, well on Facebook I have, but in real life, I don't really have anyone I could turn to, apart from my sister and dad, who I'm lucky to have. I haven't been on a 'night out' with friends since I was a teenager.
Tbh I'm not sure what happened, maybe I come across as unfriendly

I felt like this recently so you have my sympathy. However in my case it was definitely amplified by me being single parent and alone every single night. I came to realise that people cant dedicate time to solving my loneliness and wont realise that my text to them is the only adult contact I have in a day.

I try and keep busy on my own terms and plan stuff with people very far in advance so I have something to look forward to. X