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Original poster

Is it worth trying to claim DLA/Carers for my son?

16 replies

OldBrownShoe · 10/02/2019 14:13

Ds is 20 months old.

He was referred to local services due to suspected asd when he was 14 months. I can’t fault these - they seem to be doing everything they can to assess and help us.

We have so many appointments. Salt on a Tuesday morning, developmental group on a Wednesday and Friday afternoon, portage home visits every Thursday (times differ) and random HV appointments as and when she requests them.

I’m a single parent and had to give up my job after Mat leave as my son will not settle with anyone but me. It’s not tantrums - he gets so distressed, it’s like he’s blind to everything and everyone around him. Can only compare it to a panic attack and it takes him the rest of the day to calm down. It’s heartbreaking to witness and put him through.

I’m really struggling to cope financially as it is, with the huge disparity between my usual full time wage and income support/tax credits. Most of the money goes on travel expenses to get ds to his appointments (I can’t drive and can’t both afford lessons or leave ds to have them)

I was given the forms by the HV to claim DLA for ds but reading through them, and the questions they ask, I can’t see what extra care/needs he has comparable to a NT toddler of his age. I’m struggling to both justify it to myself, and find a way to fill the forms in which show that he is different. I don’t even want to admit it to myself yet iyswim and I don’t know if that’s what’s making it harder.

Has anyone got any advice on what I should do?

OP posts:

Cookmysock1 · 10/02/2019 14:17

Take the forms to CAB, they usually have specialists that can help you fill them and also appeal if need be

gubbsywubbsy · 10/02/2019 14:20

Yes , my son got it at about two . The forms aren't as bad as everyone makes out . Just be honest . By the way my son screamed for the first year or so and I'm still unsure why but he got glasses at 10 months which seemed to help. Have they checked his eyes and ears ?

BrokenLink · 10/02/2019 14:24

The forms are entirely concerned with how much time it takes to meet his needs. If he needs lots of support to calm down after a melt down, you count that time. If you are up in the night with him, count that time. If you need to do things in a particular way to minimise his anxiety, count that extra time taken. Going to appointments also takes time. Pick an average week, when his needs are quite high, then average it out over a day. Many children with ASD get DLA. Most local authorities have a "parent partnership" type service for parents with children with additional needs who can advise on filling these forms. It is common for claims to initially be rejected, or paid at a lower rate, and be accepted or increased on appeal. Good luck.

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Babyroobs · 10/02/2019 14:26

yes definitely worth applying. he can't be eligible for the mobility component until he turns 3 but should get the care component. You need to demonstrate how his needs are greater than another child of the same age without the condition. Try to send reports/ medical letters to support what you are saying - a report from the speech language team explaining his difficulties. My dd was awarded dla for a short while just the basis severe delayed speech. DLA is extra money to help with the costs of a disability so exactly for things like transport to appointments etc. Once DLA is awarded your child tax credits will greatly increase too with the child disability premium.

fivedogstofeed · 10/02/2019 14:32

Definitely apply. The fact that your HV has given you the forms means that she thinks you're eligible. It's based on the care your child needs which is beyond what an NT toddler needs - being unable to leave him with strangers is part of this. If you are under SLT and other services then they can add to your claim.
Also read this guide which is really helpful.

Original poster

OldBrownShoe · 10/02/2019 14:33

I think i feel a bit of a fraud as he’s not actually been diagnosed yet.

I’ll ask the portage lady when she comes on Thursday if they can help otherwise will use CAB.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

OP posts:

Original poster

OldBrownShoe · 10/02/2019 14:34

Wow that guide is brilliant. Thank you

OP posts:

Ted27 · 10/02/2019 14:35

yes of course you should. For a start the average child does not need SALT, portage, developmental groups do they and most children don't have panic attacks. Your son's extra needs prevent you from working. You need to relate those needs to the sections on the form. You can assemble evidence such as referral letters, you could also ask your HV to provide a letter.

I do think the forms are harder when its things like ASD. My son has ASD and I thought some of the sections were quite difficult. CAB is a good idea, although in some areas they are very overstretched. You could also try your local carers centre if you have one. Cerebra have a good guide to completing the form and using the right words.

Ted27 · 10/02/2019 14:37

DLA isnt about diagnosis, its about need.

Original poster

OldBrownShoe · 10/02/2019 14:39

Sorry meant to add he’s had an audiology appointment and hearing was fine as far as they could tell (he got distressed halfway through so couldn’t do the full test)
His sogs report was the same at 19 months as it was at 15 months.

Will look into the eye testing. Both myself and older ds wear glasses for astigmatism so could be a possibility he has a problem.

OP posts:

EggysMom · 10/02/2019 14:40

Good to see that somebody has already directed you to Cerebra's guide, that's the one I always suggest

Also google for your local Carer's centre/advice group, as they provide routes to emotional support and sometimes also grants.

averythinline · 10/02/2019 14:41

yes apply - its those extra costs of travel etc - its not dependent on a diagnosis...

your portage person will proabbly know if you have a local organisation who can help...it is important not to underplay needs which is why it can help having support to complete it most parents underplay the impact of any needs as they have just got used to things and adapt to their child and love them :)
if not try google your council + local offer and find your parent carers forum they will probably know - if not NAS (national autustic society ) haev a help line as do Contact (a family) they are really knowledgabe..

having DLA will also help any nursery he goes to from 3, gets free nursery from 2 and will enable other benefts for you carers etc but think there is an impact for UC as well....

MeetJoeTurquoise · 10/02/2019 14:46

We use the Cerebra guide too to fill in my ds forms and review forms. It's always worth applying. It's not until you sit down with pen and paper that you realise exactly how much more raising a child with SNs actually costs.

Elderflower14 · 10/02/2019 16:18

If you get Dla (maybe without too?) you can apply to the Family Fund too. www.familyfund.org.uk

HotChocolateLover · 10/02/2019 18:25

It sounds like you may get it. Look on the CAB website for advice as to how to complete the form, it gives step by step guidance. I got higher rate PIP using this. My advice is always answer each question (on the form and face to face) in two parts. How he is on a good day and how this compares to a bad day. This is what I did.

Original poster

OldBrownShoe · 10/02/2019 18:31

Thank you.

I think the real reason I’ve been holding back is because I’m still hoping/waiting for them to say that it’s me/my parenting that’s the problem, and not my son that has one. Don’t know if that’s the right way or how I should feel but I can’t help it.

OP posts:

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